Jambalaya
by peace.love.and.edward
Summary: Havent you always wanted the perfect boyfriend? Someone had him and let him go. His name? Edward Cullen ofcourse.Who can be there for him and help him get over this girl? Bella Swan ofcourse. But will being there be good enough when she always wants more?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I don't usually base stories off of things that I've experienced, I throw stuff in here and there but this is kind of different.

A few weeks ago, someone asked me if I would rather have a guy who looks like Edward and acts like Jacob or have a guy who looks like Jacob and acts like Edward. I realized that I know someone who looks like Jacob and acts like Edward.

So this story is inspired by him and his amazing ness. Thank goodness he doesn't read fanfic so he'll never know ;) This is either a really short story or a long-ish one shot…This is his story so it really depends on how inspired I am. We'll see.

**Theme song for this chapter: Every time we touch- Cascada. :)**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

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BPOV

"Ugh, oh my gosh he's looking over here again." Jessica complained.

"Jess, I really don't get, why don't you just go talk to him?" I asked for the thousandth time.

"He was always so needy…What ever I don't even care. We're not going out any more, so it's like I have any obligations. I just don't know why he keeps looking over here."

"Do you want me to talk him?" I asked "I could try to find out."

"Oh! Yes! Go talk to him! Tell me what he says."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

I got up to the 'guys side' of the gym, where most of them were shooting on the basketball above their sleeping area.

"Hey Edward." I walked up to him. We weren't exactly best friends but I would consider him a friend, even though he was a senior and I was a sophomore, he was still nice enough. "Are you okay?" I asked. The trip we were on was only for one more day, making it a week total, but he seemed down the whole time because of Jessica.

"Yeah, I'm alright I guess." He said sadly. Like I said, I wasn't best friends with him, but it just broke my heart to see him so sad, from whenever I talked to him, he seemed like a really nice person.

"Do you want to talk?" I offered.

"Yeah, sure." He smiled, seeming to truly want to have someone to talk to.

"Ok guys," our teacher interrupted, speaking to everyone. "It's group time and then sleep. I don't want to see any guys past this line after groups." He demanded firmly.

"Meet you somewhere after groups?" I asked.

"Yeah." He hugged me quickly in a friendly gesture and we walked off to our groups.

We were on a trip for spring break, but instead of staying at a hotel or something, we were in some kind of carpeted basketball court that was part of a church and assisted living complex. My sleeping bag definitely wasn't comfortable.

My group met up in one of the vans that we drove here but I really couldn't think of much else besides talking to Edward after this.

I was trying to think of a smooth way to start the conversation. I didn't really know how open he was going to be, not like I needed to know every detail, but I wanted to help if I could, or at least just give him some way to vent. He seemed like he held a lot inside.

Finally my group got out of the vans, done discussing what ever topic I had missed out on with all of this thinking, and I looked around for Edward. I spotted him immediately once I walked into the gym.

"Come on guy, get to sleep." Mr. Varner, our teacher, directed.

I saw Edward looking for something in his bag and I was wondering whether I should listen and start getting ready to sleep. But I really wanted to talk to Edward, so I just walked up to him quickly.

"You want to go outside so we can talk instead of in here with Mr. Varner?" he asked.

"Yeah I'll meet you there, I'm gonna grab my sweatshirt."

"Here, you can have my spare." He handed me one from his bag.

"Ok, thanks." We walked out the doors and looked for somewhere to sit. On the other side of the parking lot there was a courtyard with flowers and benches so we walked silently over there. We sat on the group instead, so we would be out of sight to anyone who passed by.

"So…" he started. "Im just curious…what do _you_ know?" he asked. "What has she said?"

I hesitated, what Jessica had told me was not really something I thought I should be talking about with him, but it seemed like all the walls would be down tonight.

"You can tell me, I won't get my feelings hurt." He assured me. "I just kind of wanted to know."

"Okay…well from what she's told me…which isn't much since she's not exactly a chatter box on this subject, is basically just that you guys broke up because of sex. That you wanted to and she didn't. I didn't really ask any farther but I just assumed that was why you guys broke up." I explained. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Jessica is a freshman, so I guess I didn't really question it since I'm a girl and I can relate to that.

"Okay," he nodded, seeming to accept this. "Anything else?"

"Not really." I said. "I didn't really push it cause she doesn't seem to care much and since I'm a girl I could relate to the no sex thing, not that I'm saying anything bad about you," I added and he nodded, "I could just understand where she was coming from."

"Right, so let me just say yeah the sex was a part of it because yeah, I'm a guy, but that's really all she told you?" he asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." I confirmed. "She doesn't really talk about it."

"So she never told you everything I did for her? All the crap I got from everyone for going out with a freshman? How she never talked to me about things and never cared?" he asked and I shook my head.

He sighed heavily. "Ok, I just need to vent for a second."

"Go ahead, I'm a great listener." I encouraged, I just wanted him to not be so sad all the time.

"Okay well obviously when I asked her out I got a lot of crap from people since she's a freshman and all, but at the time I didn't really care. There was just something about her, so I just ignored everyone. But then she never really made any effort in the relationship, she just took everything for granted and expected so much from me. It just seemed like she never even cared about me. Do you remember when I had that awful hair cut a few months ago?" he asked, I nodded, remembering at the time thinking 'how could he do that to his beautiful hair?' It was a crime. "Yeah, I did that for her. I did so freaking much for her, and now she won't even talk to me, she hardly ever did. I never even met her parents, did you know that?"

I hadn't known, six months and he never met her parents.

"She only asked me to come over if they weren't home, almost as if she was afraid. And she's the most unemotional person I've ever met. She just never talked about what she was feeling. And the whole sex thing, it wasn't just to have sex." He explained. It was a little uncomfortable talking about this part with him, but I just listened and let him vent. "It was really just about her not caring for me as much as I cared for her. And once she said no I didn't push it anymore." I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to have sex with Edward. Ok, still listening here. "I figured it would be better to let it go and stay with her than let her go." He continued.

"And…I don't know." He sighed. "I just don't understand how she could not even care." He was quite for a second. "Can you tell me something?" he asked quietly, breaking eye contact with me for the first time since we sat down.

"What?" I asked, almost whispering.

"Did she really laugh at my letters?" he asked shakily, tears building up in the corners of his eyes. My heart sank for him that instant.

"She didn't…laugh, exactly." I was careful with my words. She hadn't flat out laughed, but she definitely didn't embrace them.

When we first got to the gym place and unpacked our things she told me that he handed her a bag with five letters in it, one for each day we were here. We snuck into the bathroom during dinner and read all of them. They were really sweet and I just didn't understand what she was feeling to not even care.

"What do you mean, not exactly?" he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Well she just thought they were kind of awkward, weird I guess. She didn't laugh though." I assured him.

"Okay," he seemed defeated, but at least he had gotten some good venting in.

"Can I just tell you something now?" I asked, seeing if he was done venting.

"Sure."

"You deserve so much better than her." I assured him. "I understand that you still have feelings for her, but she's not worth it. Honestly, you are the perfect boyfriend, she has no idea what she's missing out on. Do you know how many girls would kill to have a guy like you?" I asked. "You need to find someone who will treat you right." I tried to instill that in his brain. "You are with out a doubt the sweetest person I know, and the most perfect boyfriend. And if she can't appreciate what's in front of her, she's not worth it."

"I know, you're right. But it's still hard to just not care about her, I just don't see how she could _not_ care so much…" he paused, looking up to see two people walking near us. We both stopped, not wanting them to hear our conversation.

"Hey Carly." I greeted her as she walked by with Tanner, another boy on the trip with us.

"Oh hey guys, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." They walked off.

"Honestly, after talking to you right now, I have no idea why I'm friends with her. Like she's not even a nice person." I had thought she was, but how could she do all of this to Edward? And not even care!

"And you know what the weird thing is?" he asked rhetorically after they were going. "When we were still together, she said that. She said she would probably never find a guy that was as good of a boyfriend as me, but now…"

"Well she's right. No other guy is going to put up with that." I agreed.

"I don't even think she finds me attractive any more, she wont even talk to me, a practically have to drag her away."

"Edward, don't even say that! You're such a cutie!" I teased him, trying to lighten the mood a bit and pinching his cheek a little. "Look at that stubbly face." I smiled, none of the guys could shave here and a lot of stubble was coming in on Edward's face. It worked for him though.

"Students!" we heard Mr. Varner's voice. "Last call! I'm going to lock the doors! So unless you want to sleep outside I suggest you come in now!"

Edward and I reluctantly got up.

"Come on, we should get inside." Edward said quietly, his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

We walked inside and it was almost pitch black, I tried to take off his sweatshirt but could barley walk none the less see where to put his sweatshirt.

"It's ok, give it to me in the morning, I can't see anything." He said quietly.

"Okay, good night." I whispered.

He hugged and said quietly in my ear. "Thanks, you are a good listener."

"No problem." It took me a second or two to respond due to the emotions hidden behind the hug.

"Sweet dreams." He let go.

I struggled to the other end of the room, successfully not stepping on anyone.

"What did he say?" Jessica asked. I had completely forgotten about her, but I should have known she would be waiting.

"Hold on, let me change into sweats and then I'll talk to you about it." I tried to stall.

Luckily Edward was heading into the kitchen so I caught him halfway there.

"Edward!" I whisper yelled.

"What?"

"What do you want me to tell Jessica?" I asked, unsure of how else to phrase it.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I'm trying not to care, you know?" I nodded and he paused. "I guess I don't care, you can tell what ever."

"Okay…Do you…want to know what she says?"

He thought about this. "Well I'm still trying not to care," he seemed to be reminding himself more than me, "But I am still curious. If you think I'll want to know then you can tell me."

"Alright, see you in the morning."

"Night Bella." He hugged me again. It took me a while to respond this time because when he hugged me it registered in my brain that he wasn't wearing a shirt. I know he's my friend and all but still, this is Edward we're talking about.

"Night." I reluctantly pulled away.

"Thanks again." He squeezed my hand gently.

"You're welcome. I'm always here if you need to talk about anything or just want to get away from everyone else."

"I'm here for you too," he replied, "Although I doubt I could really help you." He half laughed.

"Good to know." I joked and we walked our separate ways, for me, unfortunately, that meant back to Jessica. I really had no idea why I was friends with her. That needed to change, like, now.

"So what did he say?" she asked.

"I don't know…" I drifted off, I had permission from Edward to tell her but I still didn't feel like she deserved to be informed of our conversation.

"Well did he say when he's always staring over here?"

"I think it's just hard for him not to care." I told her. "Why don't you?" I asked her. "I never really understood."

"I don't know, he just always wants so much time and wants to talk or what ever but like I don't care and I spent enough time with him while we were going out so I just don't really care."

Wow, I definitely had no idea why I was friends with her. Was. Because I definitely wasn't anymore.

"I don't know…I'm tired, we'll talk later." I tried to shrug her off.

"Okay…" she got into her sleeping bag, thankfully giving up.

I lay there for a while thinking about everything that Edward had just shared with me. I honestly didn't know Jessica was so uncaring and wouldn't even talk to someone as genuine as Edward. It infuriated me and disgusted me and also made me extremely sad. I never like seeing anyone sad, but especially people I know on a personal level, especially (now) that I really knew Edward. I smiled to myself when I realized that I was still wearing his sweatshirt, loving it too much to take it off.

….

The next morning I didn't have any problems avoiding Jessica because she had to cook breakfast with her group so Edward and I were free to talk. The thing I realized I loved the most about Edward was that we could just stand together, not even talking, and just enjoy each others company.

We stood by the edge of the basketball court and watched everyone play. Most of the guys just thought they were really good but in reality they were missing half of the shots they made. This kind of amused me.

"Do you want to go sit over there with me?" Edward asked, pointing to the side of the court where no one else was standing. I nodded and we walked over there.

"So how are you doing?" I asked, unsure of his mood.

"I'm ok." He replied. "Thank you again for last night." He said and I simply smiled at him.

"Honestly, I'm glad you did because I really want nothing to do with Jessica anymore."

He hung his head. "See, why does she have to do that?" he asked, nodding over to her so I could see her talking to Tanner, laughing. "She does it on purpose, but I don't get why she cares so much about hurting me, even though she doesn't care about me."

I put my arm over his shoulder. "Just ignore her." I encouraged.

Shortly after we got our breakfast, Edward and I ate in our corner, and then started packing to head home.

I was thrilled to find that our first van ride I was sitting next to Edward. We had eight big vans that fit 11 people in each and we switched vans every two hours. So Edward and I sat outside before we left, watching everyone else finish packing, and didn't really feel the need for words.

"Do you have to be in any cars with her?" I asked.

"No, thank goodness." He sighed.

"Hey, come on. Don't be so down." I tried to encourage.

Before he got a chance to respond, Mr. Varner announced that we were going to leave so everyone should get in their assigned vans.

"Let's go," he got up and offered his hand to help me up.

"Were in the same van this time." I smiled.

"Let's get in the front so we can sit next to each other." He suggested.

Unfortunately two people were already in the front, but Edward asked them to move and they actually did. Worked for me. Two hours next to Edward.

Our driver, one of the volunteer parents, let Cassie, sitting next to me, plug in her I pod and she was jamming out.

I could see that Edward was really tired so I mostly sang along with Cassie for the first twenty minutes or so before Edward laid his head on my shoulder to sleep. Suddenly I became very tired and leaned my head on top of his, sleeping also. After about an hour I woke up and started singing with Cassie again. I could tell Edward was awake and that he was listening to the songs, especially from the frown on his face now. I kept continuously changing the songs because I realized almost all of them were about heart break, and I really felt bad for making Edward listen to them.

A while later I was sad when we had to change vans. I slept for the rest of the rides but not as easily without him.

….

When we got back to the school and started unloading everyone's bags, I found mine right away, really wanting to get back home.

"Bella, are you leaving?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I know I should stay and help, but I just really want to get home."

"Okay, I'll see you later." He hugged me.

"Bye," I told him mid-hug. "Please just remember that she's not worth it."

"Okay, I'll try." He said, pulling away.

He dropped one of the bags in his hand; I recognized it as Jessica's.

"Gotta start somewhere, right?" he asked.

"Good job." I smiled and walked away, happy to finally be home.

….

The next few days at school I remembered that we had third period right next to each other so passing period started to become our main source of catching up. I messaged him on Facebook the day we got back, but I figured he hadn't been on in a while and didn't see it.

I walked out of class, hurring so I didn't miss him, but also stalling incase he took a while to come outside. Thankfully my friend Haley was talking to someone who just walked out of the classroom he was in so I stood by them before seeing Edward walk out.

"Hi Haley." He gave her a nod and started to walk away.

"You don't even say hi to me," I rolled my eyes.

"Hi," he smiled.

I walked with him. Usually in about twenty steps we would have to part ways, but I wanted to walk more with him today so I just kept going, willing to sacrifice being late to class.

"So how are you?" I asked.

"I'm good; I actually talked to Jessica the yesterday, vented a lot."

"Talk as in face to face or talk as in message?" I asked.

"Facebook," he responded. "She didn't know why I thought she was being mean and she told me to show her what mean was…so I did. I feel kind of bad… but everything I said was true, and she deserves it." He stated.

"Yeah, she does. Don't feel bad; just forget about it now you don't need to worry about her anymore."

"Yeah, that's a relief so far." He smiled. "So I'm thinking about…not going to our club meetings anymore." He stated.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the trip we went on was with our leadership group. It's a really long story, but basically we had leadership together.

"What?" I asked, saddened that my main way of seeing him could be taken away. "Yeah, it's just kind of hard being there now," I assumed he was referring to the fact that Jessica was there. "I'm thinking of just coming to the part where we're in our separate groups and not as one big group."

"Okay," I guess I could understand. "I really wish you wouldn't though. Just think about it." I suggested.

"I will," He agreed. We stopped in the hall, him with his hand on the door to his classroom. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," I turned and walked back towards my classroom, lots of thoughts occupying my mind now.

I had only now just realized that the fact that he had talked to Jessica on Facebook meant he should have seen my message…but maybe he didn't have time. I also started thinking about how disappointed I would be if he stopped coming to club meetings. Ever since that night of talking with him, I realized I had developed a lot of more than friendship feelings for him, I still couldn't even think the words in my mind. Its not like he would feel the same way anyways, he was still dealing with Jessica problems. But there was something so…appealing…of the brokenness he was now. Like I wanted to be the one there for him, help fix everything.

And if on the way it brought us closer, well, I would be happy. But if he stopped coming to club meetings I'd only see him those brief minutes during passing period. I didn't think we were in the point in our friendship where it would be normal for me to ask for his number to text him. So I guess I would have to deal with passing periods for now. Maybe later we could find something else to spend time together, but the way things were now, I would have to work hard with the time I had.

……………

A/N: So? What do you guys think???

Please please please review. I know a lot of people read my stories because of the number of hits, but I'm aiming for more reviews than adds to favorites and such. If this is your favorite then don't you want to leave a review?!

Answer: yes.

REVIEWS ARE LOVEE! :)))))))


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: ok so I'm sorry for the wait, it took a while for me to decide if this should be more than a one shot…and I know this isn't saying too much since all of my stories are kind of slow, but I'm thinking this story will be the slowest of them all since it takes a lot more time things to write about to come up.

And also a lot of stories where they're friends go way too fast and are unrealistic. So please be patient, this will be very realistic because now that some of it is based on a true story I don't really want to make anything up. We'll all have to be patient. But I promise if it doesn't happen in 10 chapters or so then I guess I'll make something up.

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight characters**.

BPOV

Thankfully Edward didn't stop going to our leadership meetings, but I still rarely saw him. I didn't really want to talk to him online, it seemed very impersonal. So every day on my way from third to fourth period, I would try to rush out of my classroom and stand in the hall with my friend Haley, who would always wait for one of her friends to come out of the same classroom that Edward was in. I used that as an excuse to wait outside of his classroom and coincidentally walk by the room at the same time he walked out.

I wanted to keep up this pattern every day, but most days he would walk out before me or be talking to someone else. I didn't want to intrude, or seem like I was desperate, so I only succeeded a few times.

The bell had finally rang and I hurried out, as always. Today I didn't have to wait because Edward was walking out at the same time as me and for once he saw me first, making me happy when he smiled.

"Hey." He greeted me.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked, referring to his Jessica situation.

"I'm good." He said, seeming to really mean it.

"Good. I'm glad."

"Thanks." He smiled and then pulled out his phone, texting someone.

"Who you texting?" I asked with a smile on my face. Truth is I really didn't want it to be another girl, but I would still be happy for him if it was.

"My friend from Seattle, I've been talking to her for a while, I think I'm going to senior ball with her."

Ugh great.

"That's fun." I tried to sound enthusiastic. "I'll see you later." I turned the corner to go to my chemistry class. I didn't really feel like walking the whole way to his class today after that.

…………..

"Bella!" My friend Alice saw me in the hall the following day.

"Alice! Hey how are you? I haven't talked to you in forever!" I didn't have much time outside of school this year and Alice and I didn't have any classes together. I really missed her and felt bad we never hung out anymore.

'I'm great, how are you?"

"Pretty good." I smiled.

"So who's the boy?" she asked.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Alice knows me too well.

"I don't know if you know him…he's a senior." I said quietly.

"OOH really?!" she was excited now. "What's his name??" she was never going to give up, but I didn't really want to say it out loud.

"Alice, there's people around." I said quietly and decided to text it into my phone and show her.

'Edward Cullen' I typed.

"Hmm, I think I know him. I've definitely heard his name before." She smiled.

"Yeah, I know he's a senior and all, but…I don't know…" I trailed off.

She squealed. "You have to tell me the whole story!"

"Okay I will." I rolled my eyes. "What class do you have right now?" we were talking during passing period.

"Math," she responded. "But I'm not going." I have no idea how she gets away with it but she seems to not go to class a lot."

I chuckled. "Ok, well I have early release for leadership, but I'm not going to the funraiser today. I'm still cleared on the attendance system though so do you want to just go walk around?" I asked. "I was going to walk home."

"Ok, I'll walk half way with you or something, I have to stay at school for cheer but I have plenty of time."

"Sounds good, let me just put some stuff in my locker." We walked to the lockers and then out to the street. Thankfully I lived 15 minutes away from school if I walked and Charlie wouldn't be home yet so I was free until he got home.

I told Alice the whole story of talking to Edward on our leadership trip, only leaving out some of his personal details. I didn't feel right telling her just like I hadn't felt right telling Jessica. But she got the general story.

"But I don't really know what to do." I continued. "He is a senior, which means he will be gone soon, even though he's going to college in the area, it will still seem like he's gone. And he probably just thinks of me as a friend, and how stupid would I be to bring anything else up…? I don't know."

"Well there is something attractive about a broken guy Bella." Alice told me. "I think you could be a really good friend to him, and then if it's meant to work out more, it will."

"Yeah…" I agreed. "I really hope it does Alice, I really like him. He's like the perfect guy." I swooned hopelessly.

"I want to see his picture." She said as we walked up to my door. "Do you have a yearbook?"

"Yeah, do you want to come inside and I'll show you?"

"Yeah." She agreed. I had kind of forgotten that she was only going to walk halfway with me and we were at my house now, but she still had a half an hour to walk back. I found last year's yearbook and showed her his picture.

"Ooh he _is_ cute!" she smiled. "I think you should go for it."

"Alice, not all of us go after people like you do." I teased her. She had her ups and downs with her boyfriend Jasper, but everyone knew they were perfect together.

"Okay, I have to go. I'll talk to you later." She said. "We should hang out soon!"

"Yeah, I'll text you."

"Bye Bella."

……………

I texted Alice a few hours after she left, after her cheer practice of course, and we agreed to hang out on Saturday. And since it was only Tuesday and she now knew about Edward, she wanted to walk to classes with us.

The next day she literally ran out of her classroom, which was two up from mine, and then we walked to Edward's classroom. I saw him a few paces up the hall from us but he was talking to a few other people.

"Why don't you go talk to him?" Alice asked.

"I don't want it to be obvious!" I said quietly. "And he's talking to other people."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"I will tomorrow." I told her.

"Okay…" we parted ways to our separate classes.

…………….

After I went to the movies with Alice on Saturday, she texted me.

'_hey if someone told me something concerning you, you'd want me to tell you right?'_ I read her text.

'_um, I guess…'_ I typed back…wondering how bad it could be.

'_ok well jazzy heard that Edward was at a party last night and hooked up with Danielle.'_

'_are you serious?'_

'_yeah…im sorry.'_

'_ugh, its okay'_ I texted, even though it really wasn't. _'I'm trying not to care'_ I typed, it was true, its not like I have a chance with him anyways. _'I just hope its not true.'_ Something in me was still hoping that it wasn't true.

'_yeah me too.'_ She responded.

'_thanks for telling me though.'_

'_no problem. Love you bells.'_

'_love you too.'_

I caught up to Edward in the halls the next day and started talking to him. Part of me wanted to ask him if it was true, but I didn't know if he would get mad that I knew or something.

So instead we just talked about leadership, which was tonight.

"I'll see you there…?" I asked.

"Yeah, bye Bella." He walked into his class.

My mind was spinning with all of the questions that were bubbling inside of me, but I was too chicken to ask. I walked quickly back up the halls that I had just walked down with Edward to my chemistry class. Thankfully I made it just before the bell.

I was looking forward to leadership, happy that he would be there. But if I really thought about, I knew I was happy he was going so I could talk to him, but I knew that I probably wouldn't end up talking to him. I would be too scared or seeming desperate again. I would just wait until he came to talk to me.

Unfortunately we weren't doing anything in class today, just watching a movie, and it left me with too much time to think. I had known that Edward had a past of partying, but I had thought he was a virgin with the way he had talked about Jessica. Now that I thought more about it, he never really said it would have been his first time, I guess I had just assumed. So maybe the rumors about him and Danielle could be true, although I still hoped they weren't. Because if they were true, then I really didn't know him at all, everything that I thought I knew about him would be a lie.

This dampened my spirits because of course I loved thinking of myself as the person who could help him and be closer to him than anyone else. So by the end of the movie we were watching, I had tried to convince myself that I shouldn't like him, I couldn't like him. I didn't want to put myself through that kind of rejection, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't just tell myself not to like him. It was very frustrating.

So I settled on not trying to force it, and just let what ever happens happen. Right now I would rather be his friend than not be anything at all.

While walking out of school, I spotted Edward's signature hair and he happened to be on the way out of school that I normally walked so I was glad to walk past him.

"Hey Edward."

"Oh, hey Bella." He looked up from his long board.

He tried to long board where I was about to walk but the wheel got stuck on a crack in the cement and he continued a few steps with out the board. He was still in front of me so I put a foot on the board and he motioned like he wanted me to try.

"No way, I'm horrible at riding skateboards and long boards, I'll definitely fall."

"Oh, come one." He teased.

"Alright, but you asked for it." I stepped up on the board, satisfied that it hadn't moved yet, it was still stuck in the crack that had eluded Edward. I pushed forward but ended up stumbling forward, unable to push it out of the crack as Edward had been unable to. Thankfully I only fell forward a bit and didn't end up completely falling.

Edward laughed and I put one foot back on the board and rolled it to Edward.

"See you later Edward." I walked past him heading out to the parking lot.

The rest of the day flew past me and before I knew it I was standing in the teen center of town hall and waiting for our leadership meeting to start. I was talking with a few friends when I unfortunately saw Edward out of the corner of my eye. I made a promise to myself that I would only say hi to him when he came over to me, so I continued my conversation with Alissa and Jane, two other girls in my group. I wasn't really following the conversation anymore, but it didn't really seem to matter.

I tried to casually look at him, with out him noticing. At first I don't think he saw but then he looked up at the exact second I glanced over at him, I looked away quickly, pretending there was something fascinating on the wall to his left. I hoped he hadn't seen.

I saw Edward walk towards me a few minutes later. I was sitting down with Jane and Alissa, but I really wanted to stand up to hug Edward. A sitting down hug simply would not do. So I waited until I was sure he was walking towards me and not just someone behind me, once he made eye contact I smiled and stood up to hug him.

"Hey." He said quietly, rolling his foot back and forth on his long board.

"Hi."

He sat on his long board and I sat on my chair, now facing away from Alissa and Jane, but I'm sure they didn't mind.

We sat there for a few minutes, seemingly having a silent conversation, making sure each of us were okay. We just didn't really need words. I had never known anyone that I could have such comfortable silence with, it was amazing and wonderful and made me like him even more. Now I officially had no clue what I was going to do.

……….

A/N: so there's another chapter, I hope you guys liked it! This story has taken a while to take off, but I appreciate the patience. Pretty please leave a review I really want to know what you guys think! :) I really hope anyone who adds this to their alerts or anything will take the time to review! I can't tell you guys how much the reviews help me write fasterrrr! And we all want that, don't we?!

Of course :)

REVIEWS ARE LOVEEE :)


	3. IMPORTANT MUST READ

**Author's Note!**

I hate to post an author's note just to ask for a favor, but I really need one from all of you. My friend Bronze, one of the sweetest people I've met on this site and a fellow FF author, lost her friend Daddy's Little Cannibal recently. Today, someone opened a Fan fiction account solely to post an awful message on EVERY story Bronze and DLC wrote. I'm including the link to that person's profile page as well as what they put in their review.

All I ask of you is that you please write to reportabuse at fanfiction dot com and ask for this person's account and all related reviews to be deleted. This is not something any fanfiction writer or reader should be subjected to. We are in mourning for a fellow FF writer/reader and no one should be allowed to post something this hurtful and disgusting.

(Change all the "dot" listed below to a period to reach the address in your search bar)

Review posted by **Don't Flip My Bitch Switch ID # **1932508 http:// www dot fanfiction dot net/u/1932508/Dont_Flip_My_Bitch_Switch

Rejoyce! The wicked bitch is dead.

How rich! Oh the Irony hahahaha. All those flames about how she should just drop dead and it actually happens. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS! I can honestly say that May 08, 2009 is the best day of my life. The day this mediocre shit that Stephanie Bell has been posting for years has finally COME TO AN END. Everyone says the best moment of the girls' life is her prom, or her wedding, or her first crib midget. But I STRONGLY disagree. The best moment of THIS girl's life was the moment STEPHANIE BELL WAS HIT BY THAT DRUNK DRIVER AND DIED! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FUCKTACULAR IDEAS BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!

P.S. Keep the responses coming. I LOVE THEM

Please write to **reportabuse at fanfiction dot com** and ask for this account and these horrible reviews to be deleted. Even if you don't know Bronze or DLC, please do it anyway. Please think of how her family will feel when they see these horrible messages. They knew their daughter wrote FF and loved to write on this site. They will see it. Think if this was your family or your friend.

We humbly beg for your help with this matter.

My-Bella, Hellopants, hopelesslydevotedtoedward123, peaceloveandedward & Lizbre

I'm just helping out our fellow authors by passing this on, as much as I hate to post and authors note the fact that anyone could post such horrible things hurts me personally.

DLC's stories are by far the best stories I have ever read, dare I say it, they are my favorites right next to Twilight it's self. Yes, that's how good they are. I am appalled that someone would do this. We are all mourning our fellow fanfiction writer.

Please report this person. It would mean a lot to us and a lot of other people. No one deserves to be disrespected like this.

RIP Stephanie (aka DLC) you will forever be loved by your true fans and friends

Please help!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: ok guys, I'm really sorry this took so long but I've been so busy with the end of school, I'm sure you guys wouldn't even have had time to read my story anyways lol. But I am very happy to say I have made a lot of progress with this story! So here we go…

Theme songs for this chapter: Knocks you down- Keri Hilson & The man who can't be moved- The Script

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Durr.**

BPOV

"Hey Jane." I greeted my friend Jane as I walked into the Middle School we helped at once a week. I hadn't been able to go lately because I was so busy, but I really missed Jane and the girls so I decided to make my English paper wait and go join them.

"Hey Bella." She looked up from what she seemed to be drawing. "We didn't really feel like learning today so we decided to draw the guys we like."

I laughed. "Ok, where's my paper?" I asked sitting down.

"Here you go Bella," one of the girls, Lacey handed me a piece of paper and passed the markers to me. "Thanks Lacey. So who are you drawing?" I asked her.

"No one really, I don't really like any of the guys at our school." She explained. "Who are you drawing?" she asked.

"I don't really know either." I lied, not really wanting to tell her about my Edward situation. I knew that I was drawing him but no one else did.

"I think I know that person." Jane hinted, ok she obviously knew.

"Um, yeah…" I said nervously. "I don't know…I think I really like him." I confessed to her. If I was supposed to be drawing a person I liked and I started drawing him with out even thinking about it, which must mean I like him, right?

"You guys would be cute together." She smiled. "He's really sweet."

"Um, thanks I guess." I laughed. "We're just friends though." I told her.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes. "We'll see how long that lasts."

"Do we know him?" Lacey asked.

"Um, yeah, you might. Goes to the high school study groups here sometimes." I explained.

"What's his name?" one of the other girls, Bridget asked.

"Edward Cullen."

"Isn't he a senior?" Bridget asked, her brother was a senior so she knew most of them.

"Um, yeah."

"He's cute," she agreed and went back to her drawing.

I continued to draw my little picture of Edward, trying to get his hair just right. I did a horrible job of course, but for some reason I still really liked the drawing.

………………

"Hey Anna!" I called over to her as I stepped out of a van. I wasn't really sure where I was but I guess that's all part of the dream thing.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I found myself responding. "I really like your shirt," I commented, it was really bright and everyone from our leadership group seemed to be walking around in them.

"Thanks, we just came back from Mexico!" she told me. "Since I didn't get to go on the trip over spring break, we went on another one."

Anna was in our leadership group and was going to come on the trip with us but a few days before we left, she got really sick and had to drop out. She was sad she had to stay home so I was happy they had gone on another trip so she could experience it.

"I missed you guys," I hugged and greeted a few of them.

It was then that I saw him and I felt that same tugging feeling I usually feel pulling me towards him and away from him at the same time. I knew I wanted to go say hi to him but at the same time, as always, I didn't want to.

"Hey Bella," he beat me to it, making my mind up for me.

"Hey, how was the trip?" I asked.

"It was ok," he shrugged. "I wish you were there though."

He pulled me in for a tight hug. My arms went around his neck and I rested my cheek against his chest. I was glad he was so tall and I felt so comfortable in his arms, like I was floating on a cloud and there was no one else in the whole world except for us. His embrace was warm and strong and I wanted to stay there forever. My favorite thing in the world was hugging him and in my dreams it was even better. I was surprised my dream self wasn't suffocating due to his tight grip on me, but at the same time, I was way too happy to care.

I always felt like this, even if I wasn't dreaming, but I never got to hug him this long in real life before. If I wasn't dreaming right now it would be really awkward for us to hug for so long. It felt like an eternity and I started to pull away from him but his hold on me didn't loosen.

He chuckled. "No way. I'm not done yet." Of course I didn't mind so I held onto his neck a while longer. We swayed in the breeze and I felt the movement of the wind but I didn't feel cold at all, being protected by his arms around me. He finally started to let go of me so I did too.

"Haha, I let go before you." He teased. I stuck out my tongue at him and he laughed again, draping his arm over my shoulder.

Mike Newton walked towards us and I internally groaned.

"Hey Bella," he tried to hug me but it turned into a kind of awkward one-armed hug because Edward didn't let go of his hold on me.

"Edward, have you seen this?" he asked, pulling up his hand. It was silver and shiny. "It's like the Terminator movie." He explained.

Edward let go of his hold on my shoulder and walked over to look at Mike's arm.

"It's shiny in the sun, but it looks like normal skin in the shade…"

Then I woke up from the best dream I've had in a while. It was sad; I really liked hugging Edward in that dream. I love dreams, not only because things can happen that can't happen in real life happen, but also because my dreams really help me sort things out sometimes. They say your dreams are you subconscious trying to tell you something, and I knew my subconscious was telling me that I really did like Edward. I guess deep down I always knew it but I hadn't really admitted it to myself yet, and that dream had just confirmed my suspicions.

Between the last two classes of the day, I saw him in the hall but I wasn't sure I wanted to look at him or make eye contact. He was walking with a few friends, I didn't even know if he would see me. But my eyes somehow betrayed what little resolve I had held and still looked at him.

"Bella," he smiled and was already looking at me when I glanced over to him.

"Hey Edward." I smiled; we were walking slowly in opposite directions in the hall so there wasn't much room for conversation now. He passed as a blur in the sea of people in the hallway. In that split second I was sad we hadn't talked right when we walked past each other because now we wouldn't get to talk at all. But Edward surprised me when he came to a stop and started to walk away from his friends and back towards me. I slowed to a stop and waited for him.

"We haven't talked in ages," I could just slightly hear his voice as he walked towards me in the hallways and couldn't help the smile that was appearing on my face.

"Yeah," I agreed, glad that he missed me too, and walked over towards him.

We ended up in the side of the hallways where there was room to talk and I hugged him, enjoying it after not seeing him for so long. It lasted a little bit longer than our usual hugs, probably due to lack of seeing each other lately, but I couldn't help but think of my dream. That subconscious hope had been filled today. As he let go of my waist, I smiled. That hug was better than the one in my dream.

"Are you going to leadership tonight?" I asked, foolishly hopeful.

"No," he shook his head," I'm just fed up with all the drama," he saw what I was about to say, "Not with Jessica, just all of them in general. I just like going to the adult meetings and stuff."

"Aw, you cant fade out now, there's hardly any time left." I said sadly.

"I know, I'm just gonna see how it goes."

"Okay," he could tell I was disappointed. "Well maybe I'll go with you. Let me know if you're going this week."

"I will." He replied and the bell rang.

"See you later," I walked away, waving.

I walked into my class, only slightly late, and I sat down, loving this indescribable feeling that I was experiencing right now.

No matter how much I didn't want to be attached or fought with myself, I couldn't deny the purse happiness I felt after just a little talk with him. I still didn't know what I was going to do, but I figured for now, in this second, I would enjoy it, and worry about it later.

…..

Tonight was our last leadership meeting of the year. I really hoped Edward would show up, but I didn't really want to let myself hope too much and I tried to come to terms with the fact that he wouldn't be there.

I was content with talking to my friends for the first half hour or so, but right before we went into our new groups, he showed up. We were all outside since it was a nice day, and I saw him walking across the street. I didn't know where he came from, but it looked like he had walked here. I lump caught in my throat, I was happy to see him, but at the same time, I kind of just wanted him to go away.

Over the past few days I had been thinking about him a lot, and now I was even more confused. I knew that I really liked him, but looming in the back of my head was always the fact that he was graduating soon.

Sure, he would still sort of be around since he was going to the college that was twenty minutes away, but it would still be different. I wouldn't just see him around, I needed to be forward and ask him to hang out, but I wasn't really that forward of a person.

And I knew if I asked him to hang out, it would make my year when we did, but I didn't know if it would even mean anything to him since he didn't know I liked him. The other thing was the fact that he probably wouldn't like me, so I was really just getting myself into a mess and I would be stuck there all alone when it came crashing down.

And then on top of all the things I was worrying about, I would then get mad at myself for letting it affect me so much. It's not like he's the love of my life, but I really care for him a lot. And it just sucks that he doesn't return the feeling and doesn't even know at all. Part of me wants to tell him, but I'm too scared of what would happen.

Either I would gain an amazing boyfriend or I would make a fool of myself and loose a great friend. Sure, at first Edward would be nice about it and say he still wanted to be friends, but we all know that would never work because it was always be awkward, there was no avoiding it.

But I couldn't help how I felt, trust me, if I could help it, I would make it go away.

It was just making everything more complicated. For me there was a big difference between thinking someone's cute, actually liking them, and picturing yourself with them. There were only a few other people in my life that I had ever thought of in the deepest meaning, and I guess those two hadn't turned out completely horrible, but Edward was so much more than the middle school crush, or even the high school crush. I really liked this guy, but I always told myself that I shouldn't. I just couldn't ever decide.

He walked into the parking lot and smiled at me.

"Edward!" I walked towards him and hugged him. "I'm glad you decided to come." I told him. A weak, acknowledging smile crossed his face instead of his usual flawless smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned now, he didn't look good.

"Nothing," he assured me. "I'm just really sick."

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"Not really," he confessed.

"What happened?" I asked softly. He looked really sad and ashamed almost.

"I did something really stupid." He said quietly, into my ear almost, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Do you…want to talk about it?" I offered, I wanted him to know I was here if he needed someone to talk to.

"Yeah," he responded. "But it's a long story. I'll tell you about it later."

"Okay," I tried to justify leaving him but couldn't make myself walk away. A few minutes later someone from my group called my name so I said bye to Edward and followed my group.

After we were finished, I walked out to see if I could find Edward but I didn't see him. Jane asked me if I wanted to go get frozen yogurt with her so we left. I was sad I didn't get to say goodbye, but I would just have to deal with it.

Anna was still there and she texted me 'bye?'

'yeah sorry, went to get yogurt, didn't see you outside' I responded.

"Let's go back after we get our yogurt," Jane suggested after opening a text from our friend Curtis. He had texted her too for not saying goodbye and she liked him a lot so she wanted to get back too. The yogurt place was right around the corner from the teen center where we had our leadership meetings so we quickly got our frozen yogurt and drove back.

I was glad to see Edward was still mingling outside with people so I would get to say goodbye to him after all. I now noticed the hospital wristband on his wrist. Edward wasn't a bad person, there was no question that he was the most perfect guy I had ever known, but he did have a small tendency to get into trouble. This was the only thing that worried me about him.

"Hey Edward." I walked up to him.

"Hey," he hugged me. "FroYo?" he asked.

"Yeah, Jane and I just went to get some." I explained.

"Bella, come on, I have to leave!" Alissa called. She was my ride home since we had driven here together so unfortunately, yet again, I couldn't talk to Edward.

"I'll talk to you later on Facebook or something." I said, using goodbye as an excuse to hug him again.

I hurried to my computer when I got home, hoping he would be online. Luck was with me but for some reason it took me a few minutes to click his name to start the conversation.

I knew I would regret if I didn't talk to him, but what if I asked him about what happened and he got mad at me or something? Maybe I should just ease into it, ask how his day was or something.

**B: hey hey**

**E: wusgood**

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Edward types really weird on Facebook. It kind of bugs me, but not enough to not talk to him.

**B: haha pretty much nothing at the moment lol. How about youu?**

**E: nothin jus talkin to people**

**B: fun fun. so did you guys do intense last group meetings today?**

**E: not really. we watched a video**

**B: oh haha i saw the lights off and was wondering what you guys were doing**

**E: yup**

**B: glad you went to the last one?**

**E: ehhh whatevs**

**B: haha well i wish crhis had gone, our group missed him...but he probably would have said the same thing lol**

Hmm..no response…ok we'll I wasn't ready to give up on this conversation so I decided to take durastic measures.

**B: oh! i was gonna tell you today but you looked a bit..ehh...but i drew a picture of you the other day. its pretty amazing.**

**E: haha y?**

**B: jane and i were drawing pictures of people lol**

**E: lol ur cool**

**B: haha i know, it's a pretty good drawing**

**E: i wanna c it**

**B: haha no its actually really bad**

**E: idc**

**B: haha no like look at the picture of casey in my pictures...its like worse than that**

**E: h/o i will.**

**…i cant find it**

**B: haha ok well its really bad so just picture youself with your a's hat and a soccer ball and that's what it looks like except for like 20 worse lol**

**E: oh i c the one of casey lol**

**B: haha yeahh…**

**Ok no response again. I wanted to keep the conversation going but at the same time, I didn't want to force it.**

**B: so what was with the..uh..sadness..?today…?**

**E: long story. i don really feel like typin it out. i'll tell u sunday or somethin**

**B: haha okay. im sad when youre sad though...you always make everyone else laugh so when you're sad its like 'oh no edward!:( ' lol**

**E: haha well at least some people care lol**

**B: everyone cares! :)**

**E: no not everyone lol**

**B: ok well then i know at least i do. and i know i'm defnitley going to cry my eyes out at your graduationnn. its gonna be so sad, like for emmett and everything cuase he's my brother but like you…casey…ricky…woody…all the guys in our groups. too sadd!**

**E: awwww**

**B: haha ok when i see people cry, i cry. and all those people graduating are people i grew up with or love from leadership and clubs and everythingg**

**E: yeah**

**B: yeah but then right after i'll be happy cuase i get emmett's room hehe**

**E: greedy! Haha**

**B: pshh no way if you had to share a room with my sister nessie all your life you would say the same thing lol**

**E: true**

**B: haha very…ok well i reallly gotta get some sleep…and not to sound corny or anything ...but just...try not to do anything else stupid. i dont want to come to school in the next few weeks and not be able to see you in the halls**

**E: im already on home study now so u wont see me anyway lol**

**B: aw mann. ok well you know what i mean lol**

**E: haha, yeah**

**B: ok, i'll talk to you laterrr**

**E: night**

…………………………

A/N: ok so what did you guys think?! I know im horrible for not updating, but I warned you guys that this story might be a little slow. I have a lot more to write but I don't have enough time so I'm just putting this out. hopefully I'll get up another chapter sometime this week.

REVIEWS ARE LOVEEE!!!! :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: wow guys sorry I haven't updated in forever, what can I say, there just wasn't very much to write in the last few weeks. Here's the next chapter though! :)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the wonderful amazing characters.**

Song for this chapter: Say- John Mayor

"So…you never did tell me…" I trailed off. Edward and I were walking out from school to my house. To my extreme pleasure, he had decided to come check what his grades were today.

"Hmm?" he asked absent-mindedly.

"Remember that day you were upset because something happened?" I asked.

"Yeah…"

"It's okay; we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, that's ok," I glanced at me and then kept his eyes on the sidewalk as we walked down the street. "I just got a little…carried away at a party."

"And when you say carried away…you mean…?"

"Well everyone was celebrating…" he started. "And I had just talked to…" he paused. "…Jessica, and I just…" he made a hand motion of drinking.

"Oh…"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Emmett drove me to the hospital," he held up his hospital wristband.

"Aren't you going to take off the band?" I asked curiously.

"Nope," he touched it lightly. "It's a reminder."

I eyed it and then looked carefully at his face. "You okay?"

He shrugged. "Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does." I slowed my walking.

"Okay Bella, really I'm fine."

"Show me a smile," I teased in a sing song voice. He complied, truly laughing for the first time in the past few days. "There it is," I pinched his cheek.

"Thanks Bella." He pulled me in for a sort of hug, just leaving his arm around my shoulder as we walked.

………………………………………………………………………………..

So it had been a few days since I'd talked to Edward, and I still couldn't decide if that made me happy or not. I still wanted to talk to him, but didn't want to at the same time. I knew by now that I made a much bigger deal out of little things that obviously he didn't think were a big deal. Because if he did then he would occasionally start a conversation on Facebook or do something to show it.

Everything that didn't have to do with Edward just seemed to pass by in a blur lately. I hadn't really cared about someone this much in a while and it kind of scared me. I didn't want to assume Edward felt the same way, or even assume that he knew how I felt, because, let's face it, guys usually aren't that perceptive. And I'm not as forward as most people are, so truthfully he probably had no idea.

So one day as I sat in my room, staring off into space, I decided to do something about it. Well it wouldn't really affect anyone but me, but I felt like I needed to do it for myself. So I wrote him a letter. I wasn't sure, even as I was writing it, if I would ever actually show it to him, but have found before that writing all your feelings down helps a lot.

Dear Edward,

So you're probably wondering why you're reading this letter. And truthfully, I probably am too. Because if you are reading this, it means I some how got enough guts to give it to you…

So I'm extremely sad you're graduating because we only just became close and now you're moving in life. I'm happy for you though :) and thanks for keeping your promise and not doing anything stupid because I could definitely not imagine my life with out you. You're definitely my favorite person to talk to because we can always talk about anything and I really value the few relationships I have that are like that. You have a certain something about you and the rays of sunshine you share with everyone make me always want to just be around you, just to feel happy like that. I won't have my own personal sun when you're gone! :(

I definitely wish we had talked earlier in the week in Mexico or earlier in the year because the last two days of Mexico were definitely my favorite. And now I don't even get to see you in the halls anymore, even though I still forget not to look for your distinct hair in the hallways. So we definitely need to hang out over the summer. And maybe I'll decide to let you see the picture I drew of you. Funny story behind that too…at Jane's house a few weeks ago, she was babysitting four little girls, they were all drawing pictures of guys they liked. I was already thinking of you from talking to you earlier that day and not to mention drawing you was extremely entertaining :) Jane saw the little stubble I drew on you and your hair and instantly knew it was you.

So…haha this letter really doesn't make much sense, but since I never see you anymore I just thought I'd write it. I hope you go to Hume and stuff this summer! And I hope you go to the other leadership stuff too, and Hume will be like a bazillion times funner if you go.

P.s. I'm listening to my ipod right now and Nsync just came on, their songs always remind me of you and Zach when you guys made up a dance to that nsync song. Good times :) maybe I'll use that as a supplement for missing you!

So since I don't know when im going to give this to you…have a nice day, or graduation, or summer :)

Bella

…………………………………….

I saw his picture pop up on my Facebook screen, telling me he was online now. Even though I wasn't sure about anything anymore, I was sure that I wanted to talk to him. We could talk about anything, as long as we could talk.

Oh I was also trying to avoid studying for my last finals.

**B: heyy what's upp?**

**E: nm**

Ugh this was going to be harder than I thought.

**B: same, trying to study but it's not really working lol**

**E: haha same!**

**B: haha yeah having a computer in my room is really not a good thing. That and the fact that I hate chemistry with a burning passion**

**E: yah. Doesn't help me either that I need my computer to study so I can't even multi-task**

**B: oh haha I attempted that for Spanish…definitely didn't work. **

**E: yeah it's whatevs, I'm so done with high school**

**B: haha I wish I could say the same **

**E: u cant!!!**

**B: gee thanks for reminding me lol**

**E: ur comin to grad right?**

**B: haha well…I always had this su****per genuis plan that while emmett was walking across the stage i would be at home moving out his stuff and moving in my stuff...but I don't know how well that will work out ahha…so yeah lol**

**E: haha r u gonna miss him?**

**B: yeah, I'm happy that he's going to college and has stuff going for him, but it'll still be sad seeing him leave. And everyone else too, it's still weird to think about.**

**E: yeah, like half of leadership. Our grade has all the coolest guys lol**

**B: I knowwww :/ Haha you really do, it's gonna be so weird without you guys and with all the new freshman**

**E: haha owned**

**B: lol you better find me and say hi at your grad!**

**E: of course n we can take photos =]**

**B: haha aww it'll be like little Edward all grown up! Lol. Do you have lots of fam that's going?**

**E: nope just my parents**

**B: aww haha yeah only a few people are coming out for Emmett's. I think it's mainly because they can't believe and they have to see it for themselves lol**

**E: haha that's mean**

**B:yeahhh…its kindaaa true though lol**

**E: well I struggled too so don't hate**

**B: haha I know, it just goes to show that anyone can turn their lives around.**

I was really glad Em had turned his life around. There was a point that I really didn't think he was even going to live in our house anymore or even finish high school. But here he is, about ready to graduate.

**E: yup**

**B: so do you have any senior summer plans?**

**E: neg. hume. that's it**

Hume lake was a camp practically everyone in our school went to each summer, it was always the best week of my summer.

**B: yay!**

**E: woo…hoo…haha**

**B: oh come on you can't tell me you're not excited for hume**

**E: yeah I guess so**

**B: haha ok fine I guess I'm excited enough for the both of us**

**E: haha sure**

**B: ok well next time I see you, you better be more excited! Or I'll just keep your grad present all for myself :p**

**E: ahha it's hard to be excited when you know the devil herself is gonna be there**

**B: don't worry, we will stay far away from her. Probably everyone will lol**

**E: haha whatevs I don't really care**

**B: haha good**

**E: k well ima go to bed. I failed at studying. Thanks a lot Bella! Haha nite**

**B: haha same, talk to you laterr**

**E: bye**

As always I was far more confused after talking to him, but I was extremely glad that I talked to him. And I was also looking forward to the graduation even more now. Thankfully I only had two more days. Two day's until I could see him, hug him, take pictures. This was going to be amazing.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

This was becoming a habit now; I just zoned myself out all the way until the night before graduation. Finals were done, yearbooks were signed, all that was left was Edward's graduation…not that I was forgetting Emmett or anything, but Edward was just on my mind a lot more than Emmett was. Usually that would be a good thing, but right now I was trying to sleep and my mind was just going crazy with thoughts of Edward. I thought about if I would even get a chance to see him, what I should wear, if I should sit near him or not, etcetera, etcetera.

I thought about that first point a little more. There were about three hundred people or so graduating tomorrow. What if the arena was too crowded and I wasn't even able to find him? I didn't have his number so it's not like I could just text him… this could be a big problem.

But for now I decided to push aside my problems and just let the chips fall where they may. If it was meant to be then I would be able to find him.

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"Hey Bella, do you want to go to the graduation early with me to save seats?" Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie asked me. "Your mom asked me to go and I don't really want to sit there alone." She laughed.

"Yeah sure, do you know what time we're going?" I asked, trying not to think about seeing Edward too much.

"When ever Emmett's ready," she said. "So maybe half an hour?"

"Ok, I'll get ready."

I had decided on a cute dark green halter dress. I didn't notice until we were walking out the door that their gowns were bright red. Great. Now I would look like Christmas next to Edward. Good move Bella.

"I like your dress Bella," Rosalie commented.

"Thanks," I smiled. "Only thing is that I just realized I'll look like Christmas next to all the graduates." I sighed.

"Don't worry, no one will notice." She assured me. "And if they do, they wont say anything, other wise they'll have me to deal with." She smiled. I really liked Rosalie. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if my brother married her in a few years. She was a big part of him turning his life around, and she even kept him in line when he picked on me.

"Ok, so where should we sit?" I asked as we walked into the stadium.

"Emmett said he was sitting on the right side when they rehearsed it this morning so let's go over there," she pointed to the right section.

"Alright." We sat in the third row and had a pretty good view. We had arrived an hour and a half early, and that was the longest hour and a half of my life.

What seemed like an eternity later, my parents arrived and the ceremony started. All the graduates walked out and I was straining my eyes for Edward, and Emmett too of course. Edward caught my eyes first as he walked into the arena, that wonderful smile on his face. I took a few pictures of both of them walking in and taking their seats. I hoped no one would notice me taking pictures of Edward when I should be taking pictures of Emmett.

The ceremony was short and sweet and when the students finally stood up to walk across the stage, I felt a pang of sadness hit me like a truck on a highway. I didn't even really know why I was sad, but I had guessed this would happen so I tried to calm down a bit. It wasn't like I wasn't going to see all these people during the summer, especially Edward, hopefully.

A little while later, the seniors, now graduates, formed a 'circle of friendship' or something and threw all of their caps in the air. This was just simply unacceptable. Now I had absolutely no idea where Edward was and Emmett started walking toward us so I was herded into taking a ton of pictures with him, all the while scanning the arena for Edward.

After I took a few of my parents with Emmett, I could tell that they were just about ready to leave. I started looking around more and thought 'please, just please. I really want to find him. Please let me find him' and I guess it worked because I turned my head to the left and there he was.

He was standing around a few friends, smiling, and as I walked over he smiled at me.

"Edward!"

"Bella!" he hugged me. Oh how I love his hugs.

"We need to take pictures!" he said, pulling me out of my daze.

"Oh! Yes we do, here I have my camera," I pulled it out of my purse and simultaneously dropped my phone, successfully popping off the back and the battery. "Oops, hold on, one sec." I bent down to get it. Of course, this just had to happen to me. "Okay," I laughed, "Don't worry, I drop my phone all the time." I held up the camera and turned it on.

"Do you want us to take a picture of you guy?" a man asked.

"Yeah, thanks dad." Edward responded.

So that was Edward's dad. Huh. I had never actually seen either of his parents, I guess the woman with him must be his mom.

"Okay, smile!" He directed us. "Got it." He smiled. "Okay a few more…"

"Bella, can you take one of me with my parents?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, sure!" I smiled and took the camera from his dad.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that my family was just about ready to go but I wished that I didn't have to leave.

"You have to leave…?" Edward sensed it.

"Yeah I think my family is about ready to leave without me." I faked a smile.

"Okay, well I'll see you later." He said. "Put those pics up on Facebook!"

"Okay I will," I promised, hugging him. "Bye! Have fun at grad night!"

"You have fun with your family,' he teased. "But not too much fun! Keep it responsible!"

"Yeah, yeah. You keep it responsible!" I laughed.

"I will! Bye!" he smiled.

I looked around for a second to find my family and walked out on a cloud. Even though I had only seen Edward for a few minutes, it was just as special as always. And the best part about it was that what just happened was something that he brought up! He was the one who said we needed to find each other and take pictures. And we actually did! I was still in awe that I actually found him with all of those people around.

The whole night at dinner, I just couldn't stop thinking about it, replaying it over and over again in my head. I was happy for Emmett and all, but for once I was happy for myself. And for once this little encounter that I had with him didn't bring up any regrets or insecurities.

And even after dinner, I still couldn't stop thinking about it. I even dreamed about it! Except for in my dream, Edward was the one looking for me. My feet were glued to the ground in the middle of the crowd while he searched around. The second that our eyes met, he was determined to get over to me. He pushed past people, most of them wearing the red graduation cloaks, until he finally got to me.

Of course, that's when I woke up, but it was still a good dream.

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A/N: yay for new chapter!!!!

REVIEWS ARE LOVEEEE!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: sorry it's taken so long guys; real life just gets in the way sometimes.

But the funniest thing happened to me the other day, so all of these characters are people in real life, and you guys will be so proud of me because of the character that just entered my life. I don't want to give it away; you'll just have to find out. I can promise you that it's funny though.

Song for this chapter: Keep Driving-Woodale, A Drop in the Ocean- Ron Pope

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Sigh.**

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BPOV

My summer had become an infinite snore fest.

Sure I hung out with Alice most days, and my most recent companions had become Emmett and Rosalie, but they all paled in comparison to the person I really wanted to be with.

I tried to occupy my time with other things such as going out to lunch with Alice or even going to the local water park with Emmett and Rosalie, but I still thought about him a lot. I had fun with everyone else, but I always ended up thinking how much more fun it could be if Edward was there.

My first opportunity to see Edward this summer would be tonight. I hadn't asked him if he was going to Molly's house, but I figured he would. Alice had invited me to go with her to her friend Molly's house and I didn't have a good enough excuse for not going, so I joined them for dinner before the party.

I was both looking forward to and dreading seeing Edward and it frustrated me that I seemed to be back to square one. I had decided before that I was just going to let things happen, and for how ever long I had decided that for, I had felt a lot better about everything. But now that I seemingly didn't know what I wanted anymore, things were just as confusing as they had been before.

"Bella!" A girl named Alex from my school called my name as I walked into Molly's house and hugged me. "How are you?" she asked. "I haven't seen you all summer!"

"Yeah…" I responded awkwardly, "I've been pretty busy with work." I lied.

"Oh," she apparently didn't see through my lie. "Where do you work?"

"The yogurt shack downtown," I responded politely.

"Oh, that's cool," she smiled. "So how is…that person we were talking about a few weeks ago?" she asked. I knew she was talking about Edward and I sighed.

"Not very good, I just don't really talk to him that much anymore." As I answered, I remembered that I really liked Alex. She was a good person to talk to, helpful yet not nosy.

"Oh that's too bad," she sighed.

"Yeah," I trailed off.

I saw Edward out of the corner of my eye and wanted to kick myself for ever agreeing to come here. He was playing basketball with a few other guys, but that wasn't the worst part. He wasn't wearing a shirt. How was I supposed to resist talking to that?! This was going to be a long night.

I followed Alice around as she greeted people I had never seen before and then everyone sort of piled into the backyard around a campfire. One of the older guys started playing the guitar and everyone sang along. I momentarily forgot about all of my problems, that is, until Edward sat down next to me.

It took all I had in me not to say anything, but I did. I sat there and pretended like I was paying a lot of attention to the songs that everyone, including me, was singing. Edward seemed like he knew that that wasn't the case, but regardless he didn't say anything.

It was quite irritating and about half way through the set of songs, Alex began throwing pretzels at Edward. He looked around for a few seconds to see who it was and once he spotted Alex they began a war. I knew that Alex wasn't flirting with Edward, and hoped he wasn't flirting with her, but it still irritated me. Like she could have a pretzel war with him with no cares in the world but I still couldn't talk to him.

The songs flew by quickly and soon the guitar guy, who ever he was, was getting up to leave and people began to disperse. Someone sitting next to Edward grabbed his bowl of pretzels from him and poured them all on his head. They laughed together as Alex walked up to me.

"I have to go," she told me. "I'll see you around though." She promised and I hugged her goodbye. "Good luck." She whispered into my ear.

"Thanks," I smiled. "Bye." She waved and was off.

I laughed at Edward as he stood up to get the pretzels away from him and he looked up at me.

"Hey Bella," he took a step closer to hug me. I was extremely glad that our from of greeting seemed to always be hugs.

"Edward," I smiled at his name alone, "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm okay," he responded. "How's your summer been?"

"Pretty good." I shrugged. "Nothing terribly exciting."

"Hey Edward," Alice walked up behind us. "Come on Bella, let's go inside." She pulled my arm. I wanted to scream at her for interrupting my conversation with Edward.

"Alicee…" I whined once we got inside. "Thanks a lot…"

"Oh, come on Bella," she rolled her eyes.

All of the girls at Molly's house were in the living room and Molly was talking about something that I wasn't paying attention to that apparently only girls were allowed to hear. My focus was far away on thoughts of Edward when suddenly he walked in past us and out the door to the patio.

"Edward!" Alice yelled. "This is for girls only, leave!"

Edward put up his hands innocently as he closed the door behind him. Through out the whole rest of this little meeting we were having, Edward stood by the window and made silly faces or pretended to be a part of the conversation. I was pretty sure no one else noticed except for me but I couldn't help but laugh when he started fogging up the glass door and then drew in "I heart Alice". When I saw the "I" and the "heart" I was hoping it would say something else…but it was funny enough because Alice noticed and shooed him away. But every few seconds he would walk past the door and fog it up some more so we could all see. It made me unhappy that that was the best part of my night.

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Summer continued to dwindle by slowly, but I found that I was happy with how I was spending my time. I got to hang out with a lot more different people than my usual Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie crowd. I still saw them daily but I also worked a lot and hung out with random friends like Alex and Molly.

Today I had to work but it was a considerably slow day. I worked from eleven to four and by the time three o clock rolled around I was bored to tears. Thankfully I was working with a friend so we had things to talk about, but it was still really boring.

"But then my dad got home and he had to leave…" my co-worker Lisa trailed off as a few people walked into the store.

I recognized the boy, he was there with a little girl who I knew also, I wondered what they were doing here together.

"Hey Bella," he greeted me.

"Hi Mike, how are you?" I asked politely.

"I'm good," he looked over his shoulder at the seven year old girl- Katie Jo, I think her name was, "Babysitting." He explained.

"Oh, fun." I smiled sarcastically.

"Yeah, so I'll have a regular chocolate and, Katie, what would you like?" he asked.

"Do you have rainbow?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, we don't have rainbow." I tried to let her down easy. "But we did just get a new flavor called Berry Blast, I think you would like that one," I told her.

"Yes, that!" she smiled.

"Alright that will be 6.35," I rang it up as Lisa started dispensing the frozen yogurt.

"So how's your summer?" Mike asked me as Lisa handed Katie Jo her yogurt and Mike handed me the money.

"It's pretty good," I responded. "I've been working a lot so at least I have spare money."

"Yeah me too, although your work seems like a better idea than mine," he looked over at Katie Jo and I laughed.

"She's cute, but I bet she's a handful."

"You got that right." He laughed. "So how's the shack this year?" he asked. Mike had worked here last year with me, this being my third year. I just kept working here because it was easy and I made money but he hadn't applied again this summer.

"It's a lot worse than last year." I sighed. "With Tyler being gone and everything," Tyler was our old manager that everyone loved. He got on my nerves a lot, but he was a really cool guy over all. But I guess when you're 26 and still living at home working at a frozen yogurt shack you eventually realize you need to do something with your life. "But Eric is really…I don't know. I just don't like him. Lisa seems to like him enough and no one else really has a problem with him but something about him just bugs me." I tried to explain it but I just couldn't even describe my dislike of the new manager.

"Yeah, I'd miss Tyler too. He started working here when I was just in elementary school; it's weird with out him." Mike commented. "I'm glad I'm not working this year though, I can actually go on trips with my family instead of them leaving me behind." He half laughed.

"Where have you guys gone?" I asked.

"Yosemite, Southern California, and Canada." He listed a few.

"Wow. Well I haven't really been anywhere this summer so you definitely win."

"Yeah I haven't been on any trips in a while before this, it's nice." He smiled.

"Mike?" Katie Jo asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to the zoo later?" she asked excitedly.

"Sure thing kiddo, but we might have to post-pone it until tomorrow." He responded and her face lit up at his agreement.

"Okay!" I had a feeling she was just happy to go at all.

"She's cute." I smiled.

"Yep." He sighed. "Well I guess we'll be going. See you around." He opened the door and waved for Katie Jo to get up.

"Bye." I sat down back behind the counter and counted down the minutes until my shift was over.

I drove home quickly and set my things down, finding the house empty as usual. My phone vibrated and I figured it was Alice telling me what ever party she wanted me to go to tonight but it wasn't. It was Mike.

**Hey Bella it's Mike.**

_Hey what's up?_

**Not much…how r u?**

_Amazing now that I'm not working anymore lol._ I joked as I got back into my car to pick up Alice, I needed to get a few things for dinner and she wanted to hang out. I quickly grabbed the groceries I needed and headed to pick up Alice before heading home.

**Do u like anyone?**

Oh crap. I did not see that coming. This was not good.

_Umm yeah kind of but you wouldn't know him_. I tried to let him down nicely. It wasn't like I was in a relationship with Edward or anything but even if I did like Mike, which I don't, I would still have my feelings for Edward to deal with.

**Oh ok**

_Why?_ I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

**Cause I kinda like you.**

Oh wow, what, are we in third grade? 'I kind of like you?' ugh.

_Oh well…I don't really know you that well, today was the first time we've talked in like a really long time…_

**Do u wanna get to know me?**

Ugh. This was bad. I couldn't just say no, I was way too nice, as Alice always told me. Thankfully she was walking towards my car right now so I could ask her what I should do.

"Alice help!" I pleaded once she sat down.

"What's wrong?" she asked and looked confused as I held out my phone for her to read the messages. "Oh…my…hahaha!" she started laughing.

"Alice this is no laughing matter! I feel bad!" I told her.

"Just say that you don't know or that you're not looking for anything right now." She suggested after a few seconds of thought.

"Okay can you type that for me?" I asked since I was still driving.

"Yeah sure," I could see the smile out of the corner of her face.

"Alice this is not funny!"

"Yes it is," she continued to smile. "Okay," she flipped open my phone. "He says 'so what are you doing?'"

"Tell him I'm hanging out with friends." I told her and she typed it in.

"He says 'who?'" Alice reported.

"Ugh, why does it matter?" I asked aloud.

"Do you want me to write that?" she asked.

"No, no, just say 'you wouldn't know them, they're a grade older than me'" I instructed. Mike was already a grade below me so he would think they were two years older than him, then maybe he'd shut up.

"He says 'I might, are there any guys?'"

I sighed. "Say…I don't know…who are some older guys…?" I trailed off. "Say 'Emmett, Edward and Chris'." I suggested.

"Alright." Alice typed and a response came too fast. "He says 'oh I know chris, what are you guys doing?'"

"Ugh," I sighed. "This is why I hate this so much. Too much to deal with. Unwanted drama and complications."

"I have an idea." Alice started typing.

"Wait, what are you typing Alice?" I asked.

"Relax, I'm getting you out of this, for now at least. I'm saying 'hi, this is Edward. I'm hanging out with Bella. She'll text you later.'"

"Alice!" I laughed. "You are brilliant." I had to admit that would probably shut Mike up for a while. Not to mention how much I wish it really was Edward who was hanging out with me and taking my phone. I guess I sighed because apparently Alice noticed.

"What?" she asked.

"You have no idea how much I would give for that to be Edward texting me." I felt my face blush a little.

"Aw Bella, don't worry about him." She encouraged me. "Who knows, maybe we'll hang out with him soon and he will finally realize how much he loves you." She joked.

"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes.

We finally arrived at my house and Alice helped me unload the groceries and then got on the computer while I put the rest of them into the fridge.

"Aw, no new messages." She frowned. "Nobody loves me."

"Everyone loves you Alice, they just go to your parties to show you that they love you instead of write you messages on Facebook." I teased.

"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes as I shoved her off the chair so I could check my email. "hey, guess who hasn't texted back?" she asked with a smile.

I laughed as I opened a new window on my computer. I knew I was really checking my computer to see if Edward was on Facebook but I felt the need to keep up the charade, even to myself, and checked my email.

After skimming through the junk mail, I turned my attention to my Facebook page, my spirits falling after seeing that Edward wasn't online, not that I would have talked to him anyways. And then I saw some pictures on his friend Kendra's profile of them and all their friends. I clicked on them on the simple whim of wanting to see what he had been up to this summer but instantly regretted it.

They were all with Kendra, her boyfriend and a few other girls, all seemingly extremely out of it. Everyone was making weird faces and they all looked really drunk. I closed to box quickly and passed it off as nothing when Alice asked me.

I guess Edward had gone back to his old ways, although now I wasn't really sure if he had ever stopped…all I knew was that I didn't want to be a part of that side of him and that I would really need to talk to him soon.

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A/N: tell me like it is: hit or miss? I really want to know what you guys think!

And yes I think that mike Newton part was hilarioussssss, especially that it actually happened noo liee.

REVEIWWWW!!!!! :)))))


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't even know what to say, I knew this story would be slow, but this was really slow…sorry! hopefully the length of this chapter partially makes up for the wait

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :(**

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Song for this chapter: I'd lie- Taylor Swift

BPOV

"Bella you better hurry up other wise the busses are going to leave without you!" Alice shouted at me over the phone as I packed the last of my necessary items for our week at camp.

"Alice I promise I'll be there in two minutes." I sighed. "Just relax."

I was looking forward to this week, a week away from home and work, and a week with friends. But the one thing I couldn't stop thinking about was the fact that Edward was going to be there.

I couldn't help but wonder how things would pan out with us being together for a week. But then again, 152 people from my school were going, so maybe we wouldn't even see each other. At a place like Hume Lake, if you didn't want to see people, you didn't have to. It was such a big place that it was hard to find anyone unless you already knew where they would be.

My dad hurried me to the loading zone where all of the busses were and helped jam in my bags while I signed in and turned in all my medical forms. There were so many people around us waiting to get on the busses, but I found that the one person I wanted to see was the one person that seemed to not be in the room. I walked back outside to find him and a few other guys loading the last of the bags, which meant mine.

"Geeze Bella," one of them groaned as he lifted up my bag, "What's in this thing?" he asked. "It weighs as much as Edward." He laughed as he passed the bag on to Edward who shoved it into the bus with ease.

"Sorry," I shrugged, "I tend to over pack some times."

I looked around the crowd and found Alice easily; she was on top of a tree trunk directing people where to go.

"Bella!" she hugged me. "Guess what, were on the same bus!" she smiled.

"I know I found out when I checked in," I laughed. "Should we go grab our seats?" I asked.

"I don't know if they're letting people in yet, but yeah sure, why not." She laughed.

I don't know what I would have done if Alice and I weren't on the same bus. Our school had three different busses and there were definitely some people here that I didn't want to be on the same bus as.

We couldn't decide where we wanted to sit so we ended up grabbing seats right in the middle so we wouldn't be too far back or too far forward. Unfortunately right after we chose our seats, I noticed Jessica walk on to our bus…but at least she wasn't sitting too close to us.

I never really officially closed things off with Jessica but I figured after all this time she probably got the hint. I hadn't really talked to her at all since April but I didn't really feel the want to open all of those old wounds again so I just sat quietly as she walked past us.

But once I saw Edward walk onto our bus it was time for drastic measures. Why were the gods of the universe doing this to me? There is only so much a person -can take. Alice, being oh-so-observant, noticed me sigh.

"What's wrong?" she asked. I didn't even have it in me to respond so I just glanced over in his direction and she understood. She tried to take my mind off of it, but Edward kept walking on and off the bus, as if he forgot something or wanted a drink of water or was just doing it to annoy me. I doubted the latter but some part of me wanted him to know it was bothering me.

"Bella," he smiled as he walked on to the bus (hopefully for the last time) and walked straight up to me. I had been trying to look right past him but apparently that didn't work. Instead, to my shock, surprise and displeasure, he sat right on top of me.

"Are you excited for Hume Lake?" he asked in a lively tone, sounding like a two year old. A very, very, very cute two year old.

"Um…yeah I guess…" Words were failing me.

"Me too." He smiled.

"Uh, Edward…can you get off me?" I asked, feeling my cheeks starting to turn red.

He laughed and stood up, walking back to his seat. Alice let me sit in my thoughts for a few minutes while we finally pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the freeway.

How had this happened? I was so confused again! I had thought I had finally gotten everything straight with my emotions and hidden feelings but Edward had to go and mess them up again. I couldn't even deal with myself anymore so I decided to join Alice in a nap.

I woke up in a place free of troubles, free of cares, free of everything. But that was just In n Out.

I shared a few awkward glances with Edward until everyone had to get back on the busses. We took our same seats as before, but I was so much more aware of Jessica sitting two seats behind me that I couldn't fall back to sleep. I tried to focus on the movie that was playing until we got there.

Alice drifted in and out through out the ride and would occasionally ask me how I was doing. I would lie, but she seemed too determined to have a good time that she pretended she didn't know I was lying.

After what seemed like an eternity, we finally arrived at Hume. Now I was excited for the week and I promised myself I wouldn't spend it worrying about Edward. I would enjoy myself no matter what.

Alice and I were of course in the same cabin so we walked up the hill to our cabin with the other nine girls in our cabin and quickly settled in. Alice and I somehow managed to get the noisiest bunks in the room but I was determined to not let anything ruin my good mood.

"I'm impressed Bella." Alice laughed as I tried to get the stain out of my shirt with a smile on my face.

"I told you Alice, nothing is getting in my way of having a good time. Not Edward, not this stain," I struggled, almost getting it all out. "Nothing." I finished.

"Ok well hurry up so we can get outside and watch all the cute guys play volleyball!" she smiled.

I rolled my eyes but walked out with her regardless and headed over to the volleyball courts. We met a few people we had seen last summer and a few we hadn't met before, it was nice. A few other girls from our school joined us, thankfully not Jessica, and that brought over even more people.

"Ooh!" Alice squealed. "There's Max!" she pointed. "Remember I met him last year?"

"More like stalked him last year." I joked.

"Shhh!"

"Alice?" He walked up to us.

"Oh hey." Alice tried to play it cool.

"I just wanted to say hey," he explained. "do you remember we met last year?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, I remember." She was still trying to play it cool. "What have you been up to?" she asked.

"Not much, my friends and I just got here a few days ago."

"Oh, we just got here today."

"That's cool," he looked around and saw that his friends were heading back to their cabins. "Well I better go, I'll see you around."

"Bye Max."

Alice and I squealed for a few minutes after he left but soon enough the curfew bell rang through out the camp and we all had to head back to our cabins.

"Well I'd say we had a very successful first day at camp." Alice reflected as we started up the descent of the ominous, tortuous hill up to our cabin.

"I'd say so too." I smiled. "And that guy Max you met last year, I didn't remember him being that cute!" I laughed.

"Ok girls, lights out in fifteen!" our counselor announced as Alice and I walked in.

There wasn't much time for talking after we changed but we would have all week to talk. I crashed on my bed and was instantly exhausted, the weight of the whole day just now dropping on me.

I closed my eyes but for some reason saw something else besides the darkness of my eyelids. Edward's smiling face flashed into my mind but was gone as quickly as it had come. It was so clear as if I had just opened my eyes and he was standing right there. This wasn't surprising to me since I had probably thought about him more today than in a while, but I still wasn't happy about it.

I had opened my eyes in shock but after a few minutes I closed them again and hoped that maybe my dreams would resolve things for me.

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The next few days went by quickly, and thankfully, Edward free. I was so proud of myself that I had hardly thought about him in the past three days. I wished that we could have had this week to talk like we used to, but he was so hard to figure out. It seemed that if I acknowledged him, he thought nothing of it, but if I ignored him, he would go out of his way to say hi to me. It was beginning to really get on my nerves, but I was determined to not let it get to me.

Alice and I had been in our cabin all afternoon, talking and resting, the lack of sleep was really starting to get to us. We had to wake up pretty early every morning for breakfast.

"I am so tired of these walls." Alice finally spoke after another one of our thoughtful silences.

"Agreed. Let's go get a smoothie or something." I got up and started to put my jacket on.

"Wait, I need to fix my hair first." Alice declared. "Yours could use some help too." She smiled gently.

"Ugh fine, do your worst." I reluctantly let her play Bella Barbie for the first time this week.

"Yay!" her smile was far too wide and I tried to block out the next ten minutes of my life.

Not soon enough we were walking down to the smoothie shop near the lake. The walk down the hill wasn't too bad, but I knew we were going to have to walk up it again soon, and did not take comfort in that fact.

"Hi, what can I get for you?" the man at the counter asked us.

"Two ice blended mochas please." Alice ordered for the both of us.

We sat on the stools on the dock where the pick up window was and I noticed two things.

First thing, Edward was walking towards the smoothie shop.

Second thing, the ordering window was far too close to the pick up window.

"Bella!" he smiled.

"Hey Edward."

He ordered and gave the man his money before turning back to me.

"Bella, why do you hate me??" he asked, playfully exaggerating each word.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You never talk to me anymore." He looked sad.

"You never talk to me anymore." I pointed out.

Alice grabbed both of our drinks and I began nervously sipping on mine. I felt so terrible. I didn't realize Edward even noticed or cared that I had been kind of avoiding him lately.

"I'm sorry, I just never see you anymore."

"Okay," Edward grabbed his drink but kept his eyes on me. "We need to talk more from now on." He insisted.

"Okay." I smiled, all the while kicking myself. It was just then I noticed he had a guitar in his hand. "What's with the guitar?" I asked.

"I'm writing a song for the talent show." He explained.

"Really?" I asked. "I didn't know you played the guitar."

He nodded and smiled.

"Can I hear the song?" I asked.

"Well…it's not finished yet…"

"Please?" Alice asked.

"Okay, okay." He rolled his eyes and sighed, taking a seat next to me and starting to strum on his guitar.

I was in a daze.

That's the only way to describe what was happening.

I turned to Alice and mouthed 'kill me', she laughed quietly, not realizing how serious I was.

I had spent most of our week here trying to avoid Edward and thoughts of Edward, but here he was, singing and playing the guitar far too beautifully.

This was not good.

Edward continued playing, and about halfway through, I tried not to focus on beating myself up, but tried to focus on the song. I couldn't really understand all of the lyrics, but the melody was heartbreakingly amazing.

He started to fade out, apparently the part that he hadn't finished.

"Yeah, that's pretty much all I've got so far."

"That was great!" I smiled.

"Thanks." He strummed on the guitar mindlessly.

"Ok well we're going to go down to the lake, but we'll see you later." I smiled.

"Bye guys." He gave me a quick hug and grabbed his drink, heading in the opposite direction.

"Gahhhh!" I whined to Alice. "Why, why, why???"

"Bella, think of it this way, maybe it's a good thing." Alice tried to comfort me.

It didn't work. I glared at her, not happy with her optimism.

"Can we please just forget about it." I sighed. "Let's go see who's on the lake." I suggested.

"What ever you say." Alice smiled smugly. She thought she was right about this, but I really doubted this was a good thing.

…………………………………………………………….

Alice walked into the game arena after dinner that night and I still wasn't very happy. And something that made me especially unhappy was the fact that our friend Anna had saved seats for us in the same row as Edward. That meant that we had to walk past him to get to our seats.

This place used to be a church so there were rows of pews we were all sitting in. Tonight was the last night at camp so we would watch a clip of everything they had recorded of us over the week and then we would head up to victory circle.

"Not so fast," Edward put up his feet after Alice passed him so I couldn't get past him. "What's the magic word?" he asked teasingly.

"Please?" I asked.

"Nope that's not it, what are the three magic words?" he asked again.

"Now it's three words?" I asked incredulously. Suddenly I realized exactly what he was hinting at, three words, but that hit way too close to home. There was no way I was saying that. "Hmm…" I pretended not to know what he wanted me to say.

"Oh fine, I see how it is." He laughed and rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of sadness as he let me past. I felt bad, especially after learning that he noticed how I had been avoiding him.

"Just kidding, I love you Edward!" I teased as I passed him.

"I love you too Bella!" he laughed along with me and now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

If only he knew how almost true that statement was. I say almost true because I knew I didn't love Edward, but I knew I cared for him, a lot. More than I should.

I wasn't pulled out of my thoughts until I saw everyone around me stand up and head out the doors. I was half way asleep as everyone headed up to victory circle. This week had really taken a lot out of me, not getting sleep as well as worrying about Edward, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stay awake at Victory Circle.

It was a place up further into the woods than most of our cabins were where everyone sang around a humongous campfire and talked about the good times they had this week. I didn't understand how people could do that. Sure, I had a good time here, but I would never stand up in front of a thousand people and explain to them how I'm going back a changed person or not.

To my extreme surprise, about half way through, Edward stood up. His voice was shaky and full of emotion.

"I've had a lot of problems with…substances…back in my home town. I couldn't go a day with out some form of high; I became way too dependent on everything. But," he took a deep breath, "all of the supportive cabin counselors along with the campers this week have made me determined to change. I don't want to go back and be the same person, and this week gave me a lot more confidence to believe that I can change."

Everyone around the campfire started clapping as Edward took his seat next to his friends who were patting him on the shoulder supportively. I felt even worse for ignoring him now. I felt like if I hadn't then I could have helped or something. I don't know if he would have wanted help, but I felt like it could have been better if I wasn't so wrapped up in all my confusion.

Nothing else interesting happened the rest of the night, so I found myself thinking about Edward way more than I had even this week. With all of this dangerous thinking my mind was doing, it's no surprise that I had a dream about him.

He was sitting on a pier with me and our friends Woody and Kenzie.

"Bella, who do you love?" Woody asked me.

"I don't know…" I stuttered, "…Not really anyone at the moment." I tried to sound like I wasn't lying. "Who do you love?" I tried to get the spotlight off of me.

"No one really." He responded.

"Woody, your girlfriend is right next to you." I reminded him.

He looked over to Kenzie. "Oh right, I love her." He smiled.

She didn't seem to hear us, and neither did Edward, so they were both sitting there staring out to the lake.

"Bella," Edward asked. "Do you think I should get my hair cut?"

"No!" I responded.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard Alice's voice, but I couldn't see her.

"Alice?" I looked around for her.

"I'm right here Bella," she said and everything started fading to black until I opened my eyes.

"Alice!" I accused her. "Why the hell did you wake me up?" I asked.

"Bella it's already 8:15 and we have to go to breakfast soon." She explained.

I sighed and frowned. "I was having a good dream."

She laughed as she walked back into the bathroom. "About what?"

"I don't really know," I answered. "Woody, Kenzie and Edward were there. We were sitting on the pier of the lake."

"Interesting…"

"Yeah," I tried to get lost in my thoughts, thinking what would have happened next in my dream; I always liked dreams much more than reality.

…………………………………………………………………………

I blinked and suddenly we were home, I instantly missed camp. I didn't want to be home; it was too boring and gave me way too much time to think.

That night I saw that Edward was online and decided to talk to him.

**B: hey hey**

**E: hey, what's up?**

**B: nothing…bored without camp lol**

**E: same! I miss it already.**

**B: yeah and I really just noticed how boring it is here, I miss everything we could do there**

**E: yeah I miss not having any temptations or anything. Like tonight my friends were drinking and smoking, and it was sooo hard to say no, but I did!!!**

**B: :))) Yay!**

**E: :))))**

**B: did you get the cd from that band at Hume?**

**E: yeah I got the white one, that song with the piano is my favorite. I listen to it every night before I go to sleep**

**B: aw that song makes me cry! But I do love it**

**E: yeah it's only the second song ever to make me cry**

**B: yeah its like crying in a good way though at least for me. But that cd is definitely my new favorite car cd haha**

**E: yup. Did you hear my song?!?!?!**

**B: I heard ****part of it when you were playing it before loading the buses...but i still need to hear the whole thing! i heard it was really good :))**

**E: idk I guess it is haha. Im recording it though, got the guitar part done today, and working on the vocals tomorrow.**

**B: no way that's really cool :)) I call a copy once you're done!**

**E: haha defintely**

**B: :))**

**E: who'd you heard it was good from?**

**B: um like everyone lol. Be proud. :) **

**E: haah thanks**

**B: oh, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something…I'm really sorry for avoiding/ not talking to you lately…feel really bad cause I didnt realize you noticed and I thought I was being all sneaky about it.**

**E: yeah what's up with that?!?!**

**B: im sorryyyy :///**

**E: why though?**

**B:****i guess i kinda realized that i was getting closer to some graduated people mostly you, so i guess i figured if i didnt get more invloved then it wouldnt make as much of a difference when you left…but obvoiusly at hume I was like wow this is dumb haha**

**E: I'm not leaving though!!! Haha**

**B: well you know what I mean…just not around…**

**E: yeah :/**

**B: but now I feel really stupid because I wasted like the whole summer…but there's still a few weeks left I guess.**

**E: you going to Smit's house tomorrow for the senior farewell?**

**B: duh :)**

**E: good**

**B: I promise I wont ignore you lol**

**E: ahah GOOD!!!! Its gonna be sad though…**

**B: yeah…I don't care though. I'm not saying goodbye to you. I'm just saying see you later. Goodbye is way too sad.**

**E: haha good lol :))**

**B:****lol i still feel really bad i didnt know you noticed. speak up sooner next time! not that there will be a next time**

**E: haha I notice those things lol. Don't think I don't.**

**B: haha pshh..sure lol**

**E: well obvoiusly I did so ha!**

**B: ok you noticed that one thing**

**E: is there other things I should have noticed? Lol**

I waited a few seconds to respond, obviously I wasn't going to tell him, but I wanted him to think there was a reason behind my waiting to answer, since there was a reason behind it.

**B: haha nevermindd**

**E: lol alright**

**B: haha so much for being observant ****:p**** lol i gotta go...text me or something when you finish your song though. And since I'm not ignoring you I will definitely talk to you later. Bye!**

**E: bye**

………………………………………………………………………………….

"I'm really worried about him," I explained to my friend Anna as we drove to dinner before the senior farewell. Alice had texted me last night and told me she heard that Edward had gotten drunk and then had a break down.

"I know what you mean. I don't know him too well, but he's always been really nice, and I had no idea he was…you know, having all these problems." She paused. "Maybe we should talk to him tonight." She suggested.

"Yeah," I agreed. "but maybe it was a good break down, you know? Like he realized what he was doing."

"You think so?" she asked.

"I hope so." I sighed.

"We'll talk to him tonight."

We finally got to Smit and Trae's house but didn't see Edward there yet. I hoped he was just running late, but with every few minutes that went by, I got more and more anxious. What if he wasn't going to show up? Or what if he did and got mad at Alice and me for confronting him? So many things could go wrong.

We had now been here for an hour and still no Edward. Smit and Trae were family friends with a ton of kids that graduated so they had this party for everyone at their house and soon enough everyone gathere around a campfire and the seniors started speaking, giving little speeches to the underclassmen about what they liked or would have done differently.

I was starting to get really worried about Edward. I got a text from Alice saying 'you should text him'. I looked at the time and it had now been an hour and a half so I decided to text him.

'hey its Bella, are you coming to Smit's?'

'yeah im almost there' he responded.

'okay good :)' I decided I'd leave it at that and talk to him once he got here.

It was pretty crowded around the campfire so once Edward got into the backyard, he had to sit on the other side of the campfire away from me. I was happy to watch him look around and finally rest his eyes on mine.

"Hi," he mouthed.

"hi," I mouthed back and smiled.

"Edward," Smit handed the candle they were passing around, "Would you like to say anything?"

"What? I just got here like two seconds ago," Smit handed him the candle anyways and said something about going in a circle so he was next, "Well, I didn't really have any time to think about this, um, I guess I'd just say lean on your friends." He glanced up at me. "they'll always be there for you, so be there for them."

………………………………………………

A/N: I'm so sorry guys, I haven't had enough time for anything lately, but this story was really on my heart this week so I pushed myself to finally finish this chapter.

Please review! It may not seem like one review can make a differnce, but belive me, they do.

:))))


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: blehh sorry for the wait, this story always takes such a long time for me to update…

………

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I still don't own Twilight.**

…………………….

BPOV

"Bella," Edward smiled at me after everyone at Smitt's started to get up from their seats to say goodbye to all of the seniors. "You didn't think you were going to leave without a hug did you?" he asked.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I replied and held out my arms to him.

His arms wrapped tightly around me and I sighed, completely content.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

"For what?" I asked.

"Just everything," he responded.

I smiled. "That's what I'm here for."

"Good."

"Sister!" Emmett called over the crowd. "You know you want to give your bestest brother a big hug!"

"Ugh," I groaned to myself, being forced to leave Edward did not put me in a good mood.

I gave Emmett a quick hug and went to find Anna. I felt a lot better that he had actually showed up, but we still needed to talk to him.

"Hey Bella, have you talked to Edward?"

"Yeah, but not about anything important," I explained to her. "but he's talking to a bunch of people now, maybe we should talk to him another night. I could ask him if he wants to have lunch or something and we could talk to him then?" I suggested.

"Or maybe tomorrow night, being Friday and all, and then we'd know he wasn't with any bad friends."

"Oh that sounds like a good idea." I agreed. "Let's ask him before he leaves."

"Hey guys," Edward greeted us as we walked towards him.

"Hey," Anna replied, "Bella and I were going to hang out tomorrow night with Rose and Emmett, you wanna go with us?"

"Sure, what are we doing?"

"We're not sure yet. But with Emmett, I'm sure we'll figure out something to do." She laughed.

"True," he laughed. "Ok, I'm in, just somebody text me tomorrow cause I will probably forget."

"We will." Anna responded and turned to me. "I should get going, see you tomorrow." She waved to Edward after she hugged me quickly and was soon out the door.

……………………………………………………………………………………

'So what should we do tomorrow?' Anna texted me.

'Well I've been wanting to paint my room…so maybe you and I could paint it and then Edward could meet us at the park after? Because I don't know if he'll find painting fun lol.'

'Ooh what if we splatter it! That'd be fun and then Edward could help us!'

'Ok sounds good, I'll text you tomorrow after I get the paint.'

'night =)'

I was now lying in my bed contemplating the possible outcomes of tomorrow afternoon. I hoped that Edward would be able to paint with us, and that my dad wouldn't freak out that there was a boy in the house… I wondered if Anna and I could find a good way to talk to Edward without him feeling like we were attacking him. I didn't really like confrontations because someone might take it the wrong way. Like Edward might feel like we were having and intervention when we really just wanted to make sure he was okay.

I fell asleep with thoughts of picking paints for the day ahead. I dreamed we would each paint one wall and then paint the last one together. After I bought the paints, Edward and Anna met me at my house and we got to work. Edward's elbow slipped as he painted and he spilled a small can of paint that was on a ladder right on top of me, causing me so squeal. He laughed incessantly and insisted he was sorry; I made him give me a big hug so I could smear the paint on him too. He looked down at me and held my face, it was only a few seconds after this that I realized he was smearing paint all over my cheeks.

Anna was laughing at us now that we were both covered in paint so we attacked her so she would be in the club. Our handprints ended up all over the walls, as did butt marks, thanks to Edward pushing me against a wall. Who knew messing around and throwing paint on each other would all lead up to the perfectly painted room. The dream continued as we painted our names on my walls when we were done, a permanent memory of the perfect day.

I woke up to find my walls were still blank, but that motivated me even more to get up and start paint-proofing my room like my dad had instructed me to do. Even if Edward couldn't paint with us, at least Anna and I would have fun with it, and then we could meet up with Edward later. I made a mental note to text him after I bought the paints.

'Hey I texted Edward and he has to work until four :/' Anna texted me.

'Aw, maybe we could just do it without him and meet up with him later?'

'K sounds good, what time do you want me to come over?'

'About an hour, I'm almost done at the paint store.'

'Sweet. What colors did you get?'

'Aqua, light blue, lime green and sea foam green.'

'Sounds cute! Cant wait :)'

Anna and I had fun painting my room, but I couldn't say I wasn't sad that Edward wasn't there. After we painted a color on each wall, we dipped our fingers in the opposite colors and splattered them on the walls. That part was fun, but I couldn't stop thinking about how much better my dream had been. It was nearly four so Anna and tried to hurry so we could meet Edward at the park.

"We have to do something so everyone knows it was us who did this amazing paint job," Anna suggested.

"Let's put our handprints on the wall!"

"I call aqua!" she laughed as she raced to the can and stuck her hand in.

"Watch for drips!" I laughed as I drenched my hand in the foam green paint.

Anna rolled her eyes but put her other hand under her paint covered hand so she didn't drip any more. She stuck her hand on the wall firmly so you could clearly see her hand.

"There." She smiled to herself and then turned to me. "Your turn!"

I placed my hand next to her handprint and glanced to the other side of my hand where Edward's handprint could have been.

"Let's wash our hands so we can get up to the park!" she hollered while she walked out of the room, pulling out of my thoughts.

It didn't take us long to walk up to the park, it was only a few blocks from my house. When we got there Edward was riding his long board around the nearly empty parking lot.

"Hey Edward," I smiled.

He pulled up to the curb near us. "Hey Bella," he turned to Anna, "Anna,"

"Hi," she responded. "How was work?"

"Uneventful." He sighed. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Just finished painting Bella's room."

"Oh right, how's it look?"

"Amazing, if I do say so myself." I boasted.

"Fun, fun." He responded.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket and I pulled it out to see a call from home.

"Ugh, hold on one sec," I told Edward and Anna. "Hello?" I answered.

"Bella, guess who's here?" Renee asked.

"I don't know mom, who?" I sighed.

"Your cousins Irena and Samantha!"

"What? Why?" I asked. "Anna and I just got to the park…"

"Well family is here so be home soon!" she repeated.

"Fine…" I sighed and hung up. "Wow apparently my cousins decided to drop in for dinner…" I explained to Edward and Anna. "So I have to leave in like twenty minutes."

"Aw but we just got here," Anna sighed. "No offense Bella, but I hate your cousins." She joked.

"Don't worry, I hate them too. Believe me." I sighed.

"Well how long are they here for?" Edward asked. "We could meet up again after you have dinner with them, couldn't we?"

"Ok that sounds good, my parents can only keep me captive for so long…I'll text you guys when I can leave."

"I have a family dinner tonight too…" Anna sighed. "Maybe I can get away from it…" she added hopefully. "Oh, Rose just texted me, she and Alice are bored, they're gonna drive up here."

"Great, now that I have to leave…I'll just stay till they get here and make them drive me home; I don't really feel like walking alone."  
"Alrighty. Edward do you have to leave or do you want to hang out with Alice, and Rose?" Anna asked.

"I'll stay with you guys, I don't have any other plans for the night." He responded.

Anna and I secretly smiled at each other. Hopefully I could eat really fast and get back to hanging out with them.

…………………………………

New Text message from:

Edward: Are you almost free?

Bella: Hopefully. They've moved on to small talk in the living room.

Edward: ok, we're bored. We're waiting outside.

Bella: I didn't mean that soon! Go drive around or something.

Edward: nope, we're staying here. just hurry up! Don't make me knock on your door! :p

Bella: don't you dare! I will kill you

Edward: you know you love me

Bella: I would still kill you

Edward: glad to know you love me so much

Bella: stay exactly where you are and we wont have a problem

Edward: if you insist…

"Mom? Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a sec?" I whispered over the murmur of conversation in the room.

"What is it?"

"Well at the park I was with some people who have graduated and they're all still hanging out and I want to spend time with them since they're leaving at the end of the summer…"

"Oh okay, just say goodbye to your family and I guess you can go. How long will you be out?"

"I'm not sure; I'll probably be back around eleven."

"Okay, call if it's later than that."

"Thanks."

I quickly said my goodbyes and raced out the door to find Rose's car right outside. Edward and Alice were jumping up and down, most likely having a dance party, or at least I hoped that's what they were doing, other wise that would be extremely weird.

"Bella!" they all seemed extremely excited when I entered the car.

"Finally!" Edward said as he turned down the music. "You wouldn't believe how bored we've been."

"Hey! We were not bored; we had plenty of fun with our dance party." Alice defended herself.

"Yeah, yeah, so where to?" Edward asked Rose.

"I vote the park." Alice chimed in.

"I second that!" I agreed.

"The park it is!"

Rose took us to the park, another dance party ensuing on the way. Edward and I sat in the back while Alice had shotgun. It was very comfortable and I was in an extremely better mood than I had been in during dinner.

"Bella, look at these pictures!" Edward shouted over the music, handing me Rose's camera. He scooted over so I could hear him. "We went to the 99 cent store before we were waiting at your house." He said into my ear.

I clicked through the pictures, Edward telling me the story behind each one of them. I was extremely jealous that I couldn't be included in this due to my irritating family, so once we got to the park I made sure we took a lot of pictures so I would be in them too.

"I need food!" Edward decided as he was swinging next to me.

"Same!" Alice called out from somewhere; it was dark now and hard to see.

"To Walgreen's!" Edward raised his fist in the air.

"To Walgreen's!" Alice agreed as I laughed.

We settled for 89 cent pints of ice cream, one pint for each of us, and sat in the middle of the parking lot. It was almost 10:30 so there were hardly any cars around.

We each grabbed our pint out of the bag and then realized we forgot spoons. We walked over to Safeway and grabbed the spoons from their soup sample section.

"Are you sure these spoons are sturdy enough?" I asked, doubting these plastic spoon's abilities to successfully scoop ice cream.

"Bella, these are clam chowder spoons, they will most definitely work. Clam chowder spoons have to be sturdy." Alice tried to convince me.

"Okay Alice, what ever you say…" We sat back down and found out that the spoons weren't as effective as Alice hoped they would be. But they were all that we had so we managed. About half way through eating our ice cream, we saw a car pull up on the opposite side of the parking lot and just sit there. No one got out and no one got in, it was quite strange. So naturally, five minutes later we had all taken bets on why the car was there.

"It's obviously an undercover cop." Alice stated.

"No, I think it's a drug dealer," Rose interrupted her. "He's waiting for someone to meet him so they can make the trade."

"You guys are both wrong," I cut in. "Maybe it's just an old lady who got lost."

"No, it's definitely a robber." Edward voiced his opinion. "He's scoping out the area so he can set up a plan for when he robs the stores."

"Well I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Alice decided. "Oh and by the way Edward, there is still a bruise on my leg from the ping pong ball. That was so not funny."

Edward started laughing. "Alice, you attacked me with a bat! What do you expect me to do?" he asked rhetorically.

I had seen some pictures of the battle, and Alice did come at him first…

Edward stood up and pulled up his shirt to show me the scars.

"Look at this Bella!" he pointed. "She's vicious!"

"Geeze Alice, you really beat him up…" I laughed. "I'm sure you'll be fine though." I said to Edward.

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes, feigning hurt. "I've survived worse." He joked.

"Haha yeah right, I don't think you could be more terrified of anything as much as you were of Alice with that bat."

"How about a guy with a gun?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Sometimes I end up in the wrong place at the wrong time…" he trailed off.

"So you just happened across a guy with a gun?" I asked.

"You didn't know that?" he asked, and I shook my head. "I was in a drive by, haven't you seen the scar on my back?" I shook my head again. "It's right there," he pointed after he moved up his shirt, boasting.

"What are you talking about Edward? Since when were you in a drive by?" Alice asked, skeptical.

"Since always," Edward rolled his eyes.

I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not, but I decided I'd let it go. I didn't really think I wanted to know.

"Oh look!" Rose pointed to the mysterious car, now surrounded by two cop cars.

"Maybe we should get out of here…" Edward suggested.

"Yeah, good idea," Alice agreed, probably a bit creeped out like I was.

"It's almost eleven, do you guys have to be home?" rose asked us as we piled back into her car.

"Yeah," we all responded. She dropped Alice off first, leaving just me and Edward in the back while Rose was silently driving.

"We should do this again," Edward said to us as we neared his house.

"Definitely," Rose agreed as she pulled into his driveway.

"Next time I'll make sure my family doesn't drop in so inconveniently."

"Good," Edward said. "See you guys around," he said as he opened his door to leave. "Bye Bella."

"Bye Edward," I waved as I moved up to the front seat next to Rose.

"Well that was fun," I said as soon as we drove away.

"Yeah, I'm really glad we did that, I think Edward really needed it. you should have seen him at the 99 cent store. He had the best time of his life. Which is kind of sad." She added and I started laughing.

"Well if you put together you and Alice in the 99 cent store, add some bats and ping pong balls, I don't see how anyone couldn't have the time of their life."

………………………………………………………….

Three weeks later:

Bella's status: anyone who didn't go this weekend majorly missed out :)

**E: ****what was this weekend?**

**B: camping tripppp :]]**

**E: with leadership?**

**B: yeah, it was instead of Houseboat trip because it would have been too expensive this year**

**E: cool. Did a lot of people go?**

**B: no like no one went. There were only 22 people total but I think that's what made it really fun.**

**E: cool cool. Why didn't anyone go?**

**B: I guess they thought It'd be lame since it wasn't houseboat… it was amazing though.**

**E: oh got itt.**

**B: haha but i did miss all the older kids..it was wierd but fun lol**

**E: yeah, how's it going without us?**

**B: I don't know theres not really anything to describe it. its still fun but its kinda sad cause its really just not the same lol. I guess I'll get used to it eventually.**

**E: yeah so many people left…**

**B: are you gonna come and visit soon?**

**E: gah idk. I'm still so close but I feel like I'm a million miles away from you guys. Soccer takes up so much time.**

**B: boo**

**E: haha I know**

**B: what about the weekend trip next month? You should stop by Saturday night.**

**E: oh yeah I prob wont have soccer on Saturday night… we'll see**

**B: oh did you ever get any further with your song?**

**E: not really haha. Soccer takes up so much time!**

**B: oh gotcha haha yeah i bett..you started classes already right? do you like them?**

**E: yeah they're okay… kinda hard though**

**B: oh that's no fun. At least you're out of high school though lol**

**E: yeah I kinda miss it though**

**B: I know what you mean, I miss seeing everyone in the halls that are gone now**

**E: yeah…**

**B: ugh I gotta go…tons of homeworkkk.. talk to you laterr**

**E: later :)**

……………………………**.**

A/N: please don't hate me!!!

I promise I'm trying, this chapter should serve as evidence to that, but what can I say, life gets in the way. ESPECIALLY with this story.

REVIEW please if you don't hate me!!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Wow I am sooo sorry I suck at updating so much…but here's the next chapter!! (:

sorry its kind of monolouge heavy...mainly just thoughts, but they are very important to the story. enjoy!

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**Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own Twilight. Shocker, I know.**

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**BPOV**

Bella: heey (: how are you?

Edward: pretty tired...you?

B: extremely well rested actually haha...why are you tired?

E: we're up at Erick's cabin in the snow and we've been playing pong and going drunk snowboarding all weekend lol

B: um alright, good for you I guess. Don't really need to hear the details though…do anything else fun that's not dangerous for your health?

E: Yeah its what ever. If you don't want to know then I guess we have nothing to talk about.

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November

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December

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January

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February

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Sometimes I feel like a part of me is missing. And I know that the part of me that's missing is him. That I need him to be happy. I need the possibility of him, the spirit of him, the hope. But we haven't talked-really talked-in months. Nothing is there…and in realizing this, I start to wonder if anything was ever really there.

He hasn't reached out. He doesn't reach out. I don't know how he couldn't feel the same as me. Sitting here in wallowing self pitty, thinking of all that went wrong.

Time. Distance. Stubbornness.

It was my foolishness that made me think he would call when he could, visit when he could, chat when he could. But it didn't happen like that. We just sort of faded out. Slowly, painfully. Conversations were vague, uninteresting. There was no point to anything anymore. He was out of reach, as he had always been, but it was news to any part of me that wasn't my subconscious. I had always known; I just didn't want to acknowledge it. It didn't make any sense for him to love me. Nothing about me could hold him; I was an insignificant pawn in life who had now been branded with the dreaded 'friend' word. I knew it was pointless from that moment.

Obviously there was something different about our friendship. Different from everyone else, but not in a good way. Apparently it was different enough that he wouldn't feel the need to still keep in touch with me. Sure, he'd go to lunch with Anna or Jasper, but he'd never call me. I wasn't that go to person anymore. And that scared me. A lot.

He was still my go to person. Nothing had changed for me, not like it had changed for him. But now I just felt like a burden he had tossed to the side, an insignificant speck. But I didn't know where to go from here. That was the problem. I still wanted to go somewhere, but it didn't seem like he did.

Something had changed. I always knew it would happen. But I never knew it would affect me so much, still after all of this time. I never got to be with him anymore, but I saw him everywhere. I saw him in the parking lot we had eaten ice cream, in the 99cent store, in the halls we used to walk in school.

Every glance I would see someone who looked just like him on the first glance. But I would always take a second glance and realize, of course, that it wasn't him, it never was him; it couldn't be him. It looked like him because that's what I wanted, what I needed.

I needed that little piece of him in my life. I couldn't bear it if he was gone completely from my life, but these days he was pretty close to gone. So my mind gave me what I wanted. It gave me him at the gas station, filling up his shiny Volvo. It gave me him on his long board, riding up and down my street. But it couldn't give me the real thing. Nothing was a good as the real thing.

Every day when I had gone without thinking about him for a week or so, my thoughts would always wander back to him, and I would realize how much I wasn't over him. And how much, for some reason that I still couldn't explain to myself, I needed him.

And at the same time I hated him so much for doing this to me. I was perfectly fine before. I was perfectly content with my life…mostly…but then he had to go and dangle his cute little self in front of me, just out of reach, reminding me how much I didn't have in my life. Perfect.

He had been there all along; I'd seen him all of my freshman year but didn't really know him. Not until sophomore year, ugh. And now it was almost half way through my junior year and I was still hung up over him. I don't think I could ever regret it though. I could regret how things were turning out and how we should have known each other better sooner, but I would never regret asking him if he was okay that one night in San Diego.

I guess in a strange way I should really thank Jessica. She persuaded me to start this whole thing. But at the same time I wanted to kill her because, well, she was Jessica. And because of the huge affect that one conversation had had on my entire life. Or at least the last eight months of it.

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So here I was sitting on the couch at Edward's house, our mom's visiting in the kitchen as I sat with Alice in her room and Edward sat in his room.

I was procrastinating as much as I could. I knew I wanted to talk to him, but what if the conversation did happen like it happened in my head over and over again? Maybe he would be mad I was checking up on him, or just not want to talk about it.

So I busied myself as much as possible, because right now the urge to procrastinate and be afraid was stronger than the urge to talk to him. A little more time, I kept thinking. Just a little more time for him to rest or cool off or do what ever he was doing in his room: isolated from the world. Sitting there in silence just staring at the wall, I would never admit it to him but each time I walked by I stole a glance, to see if his seating had changed, to see if he had blinked at all in the last hour. How long could one person possibly just sit there?

If it was me, wouldn't I want someone to talk to? Sure I would never go to him and ask to talk about it, so it was understandable why he wasn't coming to me right now, but I couldn't deny the sadness I felt at that. He knew he could talk to me right? I wouldn't tell anyone anything; did he think that I would? What if he did think that and I went in there and he just flat out told me he didn't want to talk to me?

If I walked in and closed the door, took the time to sit down and then asked him how he was, wouldn't that make leaving an even bigger deal? To have to get up from the chair, open the door, and then close it behind me, leaving it just as it was before I interrupted, like my presence there hadn't affected him at all. But if I didn't close the door, wouldn't everybody else hear? Wouldn't we want that privacy?

I thought in my head again, going over the lines I had so often rehearsed in my head. 'Hey are you ok? Do you want to talk about it? You know I'm here for you right?' but they all seemed too unimportant. What help could I be? He wasn't exactly and open person, so having an actual conversation was regrettably impossible.

I would always think of what I could say to start a conversation before I actually had the guts to go up and start one. This was one instance where I wished it was impossible to think ahead; that way I could actually converse with him about what's on my mind instead of rehearsing these lines that I had fed to myself.

And as always, the very second I muster up the courage to go and say something, he gets up and walks somewhere else. He didn't know, of course, that I had been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes debating with myself; so I could hardly blame him.

He just felt like he had done enough sitting and moved on to somewhere else, to go to something else. Which was what I should be doing, moving on to go do something else. But I still wanted to talk to him, I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

I couldn't deny that I was mad about how the events had panned out the previous night, but I still just wanted to understand. I hated when the ones I care so much about made such stupid mistakes, but that didn't mean I would hold it against him forever.

I was done being angry, although the anger would always be there somewhere underneath the surface. It's not something you get over easily, it takes years and years. But if the person keeps up these hazardous acts continually, like he had, it just damaged the delicate process.

The process I speak of had not been going well for the past year or so. These mistakes cut deeper and deeper each time, the promise of change always soon to follow but pushed aside with each impending cut. Of course before it hadn't mattered as much then as it mattered now. We were running out of time now. Few short months and he would be gone, and how would we survive then? If we were only a room apart right now, what could we possibly manage if we were cities apart or even states apart?

So why can't I just say all of this to him instead of saying it over in my head, like I do with most things concerning him. Why was I such a coward that it was so much easier to write it down in my journal or think about it in my head instead of actually telling him. It frustrates me to no end but even still I can't seem to get past it. Here I am admitting that I want to change it, but I'm still not taking any action. This never happens with anyone else, so what is different in his case? Sometimes I can talk easier with a stranger than with him.

What is stopping me?

Is it the distance that is between us now? The choppy, forced conversations?

I just needed to heal, or at least know there was a chance of healing. So now it was up to me to start, but I couldn't do it on my own. I only hoped that once he saw me trying he would help. I got up from my chair, my legs feeling like they weighed a hundred pounds and walked over to him.

My legs betrayed me yet again as I walked instead into the TV room to catch the end of a movie. The movie title was a moot point in my mind; I just needed something to keep me occupied while I tried not to think how much I chickened out and how much I would regret it later.

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A/N: so there we go! keeping the ball rolling as much as possible, i know ive been bad at updating but bear with me for a while and i might just turn up with something like this, and there is definitely more happiness to come so dont worry! (:

REVIEW!!!


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